Mean Girls musical dream casting

It's 3 October – Mean Girls day! This year it's extra fetch because tickets have gone on sale for the movie's Broadway musical adaptation. Grool.

Directed and choreographed by Casey Nicholaw, the musical has a book by Tina Fey, music by Jeff Richmond and lyrics by Nell Benjamin. The cast is in place for the world premiere stateside, but below is our dream cast for the show's inevitable West End transfer.

Regina George – Celinde Schoenmaker

Also known as Queen Bee, Regina is the leader of the plastics and a nasty piece of work – totally the opposite to Christine Daaé and Fantine then, but Miss George is bound to have some belty numbers that will suit Celinde down to the ground. We don't know the score yet, but her stand-out song should definitely be "Shut Up!".

Karen Smith – Lizzy Connolly

We don't mean to typecast Connolly but her Joleen in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels showed how well she can do 'ditzy white girl'. Her song: "If You're From Africa".

Gretchen Wieners – Christine Allado

Regina's sidekick and expert gossiper, she'll spend most of the show saying "fetch". Enter Christine Allado who's about to spend most of Hamilton saying "…and Peggy". Her song is obviously: "So Fetch".

Cady Heron – Lauren Samuels

Samuels will have to go redhead to play Cady, the newbie who infiltrates the Plastics with the intention of ruining Regina's life. Her song: "I Like Math. And Food".

Damian Leigh – Daniel Buckley

I mean, they are basically twins, right? His song: "You Go Glen Coco".

Janis Ian – Lucie Jones

Jones and Samuels are BFFs in real life so it's meant to be that the Rent and Legally Blonde star plays Janis, the first person Cady meets when she joins North Shore High School. Her song: "Too Gay To Function".

Mrs Norbury – Ashleigh Gray

In the assumption that Tina Fey is too busy being brilliant to come over and make her West End debut, we've gone for Wicked alumna Gray in the role of 12th-grade calculus teacher Mrs Norbury. Her song: "Girl on Girl Crime".