Robin Hood pantomime at The London Palladium – review

The London Palladium pantomime has scored another bullseye!

As audience members file into the auditorium, we are serenaded by music from the Prince of Thieves soundtrack and greeted by a vision of greenery and oversized sets of bows and arrows. But it’s not a rugged Kevin Costner we’re here to see. Oh no, it isn’t. We’re here for a different, slightly more glamorous take on Sherwood Forest’s favourite son.

Enter an outrageously dressed Julian Clary (“I still do so love a warm hand upon my entrance”), the Palladium panto regular who has been “upgraded” to the titular role this year. Feared by the bad, loved by the good, it’s Robin Hood, but not quite as you know him.

The customary green tights and hat have been tossed aside in favour of costume designer Hugh Durrant’s fabulous creations, always seemingly trying to outdo the previous year’s offerings. Whether Clary is dressed as a maypole, an owl or even an entire fairytale castle, “less is more” is not the mantra here, regardless of whether they complement the plot or not.

Speaking of which, has an extra effort been made to focus a little more on a narrative thread this time around? No. Do any of us really care? Absolutely not. It’s clear from the get-go that anything goes, as Rob Madge (as the delightful Spirit of Sherwood) sings the opening “We Need a Hero” number (an adaptation of the Bonnie Tyler classic) complete with cast members dressed as St George (battling a dragon), King Arthur (pulling the sword from the stone), Joan of Arc (on horseback), Boudica (being hoisted across the stage in a chariot) and more. This is immediately followed by Nigel Havers’ cinematic introduction, where he spoofs various Hollywood film characters from 007 and Rocky Balboa to Indiana Jones, before finally descending from the rafters of the Palladium in the classic blue and red as “Super-Nige”. Oh, and there’s a giant T-Rex from Jurassic Park as well. None of this has any earthly connection to the tale of Robin Hood, but why let that get in the way of a bit of spectacle?

For the thin plotline that does exist, Madge acts as our narrator for the myth of the man who steals from the rich (they point at the stalls) and gives to the poor (point towards the grand circle) and they are a welcomed return to the Palladium stage. Also returning are panto stalwarts Paul Zerdin (as Will Scarlet) and Charlie Stemp (as Alan-a-Dale), with new additions Marisha Wallace (as the villainous Sheriff of Nottingham) and Tosh Wanogho-Maud (as Little John), all mastering their roles with ease. This year’s co-headliner is “Channel 5’s sultry star”, as Clary frequently reminds us, Jane McDonald as the self-proclaimed “young, juvenile, female lead” Maid Marion. She brings a no-nonsense, Northern charm to the character, but really excels when it comes to her big power ballad numbers.

The chemistry between Clary and McDonald is panto gold, of course, as they both share a love for cruising (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) and her constant requests for him to “satisfy her womanly needs” are, alas, always met with a closeted hint of resistance.

There are both topical gags in the script (Clary viciously referring to Havers as the “posterboy for the assisted dying campaign”) and theatrical references for the musical aficionados in attendance (“If it’s good enough for Nicole Shirtlifter, it’s good enough for me!” Clary exclaims as he brings out his own onstage cameraman to zoom in on victims in the audience to roast).

The only thing conspicuous by its absence this year is the panto dame due to a Gary Wilmot-shaped hole in the cast and I, for one, have my fingers crossed that he may rejoin the ranks in 2025. But wait… in the fleeting role of King Richard deep into act two (implemented for a celebrity cameo at each performance), who should grace the stage on press night? Yes, Wilmot of course, receiving a regal ovation for the appearance.

In a show that boasts giant, fire-breathing dragons and flying fire engines, drones disguised as ghosts floating over the audience and even a 3D film section, it’s simply the communal spirit of pantomime that brings the real festive fulfillment at the Palladium. As Madge sings: “Well… hello, panto! Ain’t it nice to have it back where it belongs?” – a nod to the venue’s Imelda Staunton-led Hello, Dolly! in the summer – you can’t help but lucidly reply: “Oh yes, it is!”

I wholeheartedly confess that Robin Hood has made a merry man out of me.