Edinburgh Fringe blog: Ben Target on telling a story with live carpentry

In June 2022, the great director Adam Brace (loud, generous, dead) approached me on a train (somewhere between Aberystwyth and Wolverhampton, gods forbid), sat down next to me and gave me his unsolicited opinion: “Target, I saw you pissing around on stage this weekend at the Machynlleth Comedy Festival. I like the story you have about Lorenzo [an architect I became carer for towards the end of his life]. You should make a whole show of it and tell it using shadow puppets.”

I said: “I hate puppets, they’re creeps. Besides, I don’t want to make another Fringe show because it’s always stressful and stops me from living a normal life.”

Adam ignored me and said: “You should also include live carpentry, I know you’re into woodwork, and yes, I do mean that euphemistically.”

I said: “That’s also a terrible idea, using tools – and I don’t mean that euphemistically – on stage will require me to fill out endless health and safety forms, I don’t like admin.”

Adam then said: “Well, what if I worked with you on this hypothetical show that I’ve conjured up out of nowhere to torture you with? Then I’d be there to help you with these things.”

In April 2023, Adam died, leaving me to complete over 60 hours of admin a week on my own, whilst also having to figure out how to use tools safely on stage and telling a wonderful story about another dead man, Lorenzo, at the same time. Adam has played a blinder, I’m trapped in the best and worst practical joke of all time.

My new director, Lee Griffiths (contemplative, smutty, alive), or Director 2.0, as I prefer to call him, has upped the ante. He thinks woodwork is sexy. In fact, the only note he’s given me so far is: “Be. More. Sexy.”

So, I’m currently writing this, using one hand to type, topless, slathered up in Danish oil, being showered in sawdust, whilst simultaneously whittling a large spoon with my other hand. It’s not that I can’t do all these things at once very easily (I’m a trained carpenter who’s built film sets, theatre sets and put up the odd shelf) it’s just that this isn’t my kink. Truth be told, I’m quite vanilla. My kink is napping and/or being left alone by demanding directors with satanic visions of performance art shows to get on with my normal life.

Anyway, come to my show and I’ll tell you more…

Ben Target: Lorenzo is at Summerhall from 2 to 27 August 202 (not 14, 21)