Top one-liners of the Edinburgh Fringe announced by Dave

As has become an annual tradition, comedy channel Dave has crowned the top joke of the Edinburgh Fringe, while also revealing the nine other one-liners making the top spot. We’ve run them down below… which one is your favourite?

1 Masai Graham: “I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get pasta.”

2 Mark Simmons Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it’s next-day delivery.

3 Olaf Falafel My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock.

4 Hannah Fairweather By my age, my parents had a house and a family, and to be fair to me, so do I — but it is the same house and it is the same family.

5 Will Mars I hate funerals — I’m not a mourning person.

6 Olaf Falafel I spent the whole morning building a time machine, so that’s four hours of my life that I’m definitely getting back.

7 Richard Pulsford I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx.

8 Tim Vine I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery.

9 Sophie Duker Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate.

10 Will Duggan I can’t even be bothered to be apathetic these days.

Read our full Edinburgh Fringe guide