Toby Hadoke On Abi Titmuss, Hardeep Singh Kohli & Inside Out Jumpers

OK, one day in and I’ve broken my non drinking vow, missed a radio interview, and got Abi Titmuss’s phone number. Hooray for Edinburgh. Try as I might I can’t help but stumble from one minor embarrassment to another. As a kid I imagined a future life as a performer which involved hanging around with the hallowed and famous, and rubbing shoulders with the illustrious. What I didn’t anticipate was that whilst doing such things I’d generally end up making an idiot of myself.

I was yesterday flattered to be asked to appear as a guest on Hardeep Singh Kohli’s Chat Masala, in which the genial host interviews Edinburgh stars (or, if they are unavailable, the likes of me) and cooks for them at the same time. In the dressing-room I met Sean Hughes, and rather than being all flustered and blurting out “you worked with Eileen Way, she was in the first ever Doctor Who story, not to mention the infamous Tom Baker aberration The Creature From the Pit” I managed to be pretty unfazed, cool and showbiz. “I’m doing this chat-show thing” I said casually. “With Abi Titmuss” I added, my voice laden with sarcasm. What I intended to suggest with my tone was that it was an amusing juxtaposition – a befuddled, apologetic, middle class man like me sharing a sofa in public with someone so glamorous and sexy. Someone eavesdropping on the conversation who didn’t know me might have mistaken it for a suggestion of superiority on my part and mockery of Miss Titmuss. Fortunately there was only one eavesdropper in the room that didn’t know me. Unfortunately it was Abi Titmuss. “Hello” she said kindly. I think I used some words as I tried to rescue the situation but frankly have no idea.

Anyway, Hardeep made the show itself easy. He’s a great interviewer and his off the cuff barbs are witty and sharp. And he makes a mean pickle. His show was a lot of fun and as the evening progressed Abi and I bantered and I gradually got my confidence back thinking that, yes, I could hold my own with this glamorous lady. She had forgiven my faux pas and at least I couldn’t embarrass myself in front of her or anyone else any more than I already had. Then I realised I had my jumper on inside out.