The title of this show is something I have been shouting most of the morning.
Having been warned of Adam Riches’ fondness for audience participation, I avoided the front row. And oh, how I cackled smugly as those unfortunate stooges soon found themselves being called on one after the other to be the butt of the Edinburgh Comedy Award winner’s mirth.
The early sketches passed in a joyous whirl, as characters including a pushy agent and a professional swing ball player worked their magic - the latter very literally putting the audience in the line of fire.
So it came as something of a shock when Riches, in the guise of Daniel Day Lewis, walked to the middle rows and sat on the lap of your reviewer. ‘Perhaps it’s only a brief cameo’ I thought hopefully, keeping my eyes pinned to the floor. I thought wrong.
Hauled on stage I soon became a major player in a Day Lewis masterclass. Not to give too much away, but it involved smoke machines, a test of strength and a very passionate love scene.
“I’m getting married in April,” I pleaded. “No you’re not” boomed Riches, marching across the stage and engaging me in one of the most intimate moments I’m ever likely to share with a performer.
When it was over, I staggered back to my seat, dazed, barely able to look my companions in the eye. I think the rest of the show, which involved lizards on skateboards and a man with a colostomy bag, was pretty good - by this stage I was not the best placed to critique.
When I eventually made it home I confessed all to my fiancee. “So did you enjoy it?” she asked, intrigued. “I’m afraid I did” I replied sheepishly. “Enormously.”