The underwear in question is a pair of frilly knickers covered in an unusual vegetable, wellingtons and tools design. If these pants can't guarantee the success of my vegetable cultivation-based musical comedy show at the Fringe then no pants on earth can help me. Of course, if they do turn out to be lucky pants then I will have to wear them for every single one of the 22 shows we're doing at the Royal Botanic Garden Edinburgh but I'm not going to worry about underwear logistics right now.
I don't know why I have just been to the shops in the sweltering heat to buy various things like shampoo, toothpaste and some green eyeshadow. It's not like there aren't any shops in Edinburgh. I have been to the city many times before and have seen the shops with my own eyes. Nevertheless there is a small but shouty part of my brain that keeps telling me I won't be able to get anything I want and that I must stock up now. What if I turn up in Edinburgh to find that nowhere sells green eyeshadow? Disaster!
Thankfully much of the stuff we need for the show is being ferried up in a van so I only have to worry about getting me, my laptop, and some clothes, including my new lucky pants, from London to Edinburgh tomorrow. Although I will be bringing one of the stars of Can You Dig It? with me in my handbag - Rodney the chilli pepper plant (capsicum annuum to give him his Latin name). He's very excited about it all, he tells me. I had better go and finish packing, I suppose.