Superstar blog: You nailed it

The contestants fall into two catergories now that this is live show number six. They are either wandering round looking in severe need of some shut eye, or they have lots of fire in their belly and they see the prize. Some of them look like a child when it believes that those cranes in arcades actually do drop a prize into your lap.

“Pinball Wizard” is the group number and then The Lord makes a plea from the heart to the viewing public. “If you put that person in and it’s the wrong person, it could ruin their career.” Right, so why is ‘that’ person in the show in the first place then? “Curiouser and curiouser!”, cried Alice.

Jon sang U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” The sad irony is that the judges have – and it’s not him. So they have gone from praising him for his stillness, his great delivery of ballads and for toning down his cabaret to criticising him for exactly the same thing. He cannot win now as the Lord clearly wants him out. In truth, it was nice performance but he could do with a song, whereby he’s allowed to let every emotion out. He has grown as a performer and does deserver to do well. The Lord calls him: “Jesus of Las Vegas.” The plea at the beginning was clearly referring to Jon. The judges have clearly had a meeting entitled “Weed them out.”

Jeff sings “Whole Lotta Love” and to me, it feels like a rock parody. Having seen JCS a few years back – Judas has the best rock numbers anyway. So why they keep giving them these songs is making my head itch. But regardless, Jeff does not look like a contender. The judges wet themselves with excitement though – because it’s not Jon.

Roger sings a song which has been done to death on X Factor – Nina Simone’s “Feelin Good.”  Because of that, it’s hard to listen to, without thinking of the others who have taken the song and ran with it. Roger’s voice sounds battered and brusied and it’s not surprising. But I have gotten beyond feeling sorry for him now. There must be a West End producer out there who wants this guy. I’ll say it again – “he’s played the Lion King!” As for this part, he’s not right for it.

Ben delivers “Cold as Ice” and all I can say is wow! The song is perfect for his voice and his performance is strident and is proof that sometimes – your best bet is the seasoned performer. Let’s drop the ‘window cleaner to West End star’ – shall we? This is the only thing that grates about Ben (and it’s not his fault) is the narrative he’s been given – ‘the shy unasuming one.’ You only have to look at our twitter feed @whatsonstage to see how many theatergoers recognise him. This is not a bad thing but why ‘out’ Roger as a former West End star but have Ben pegged into the ‘off the street – walk in’ performer? Anyway, regardless – he is in a good position as right now – he’s Jesus! (play imposing classical music here, please).

Rory has always reminded me of an Indie rock star so it’s apt that he performs a Keane song. But it’s also very safe, as it does not stretch him. I’m not sure if Rory is talked up so that people like Jon fall by the wayside. But something is a miss. Rory is a nice chap and a brilliant rock singer. But that’s all he does – I cannot see him in musical theatre yet – as at the moment he fails to convince me that he can act. The judges get so excited that I think they may start pretending to be the Pointer Sisters (pre Girls Aloud) and sing/mime their thoughts.

David does a poignant number and just at the right time – “Apologise” is a brilliant song as it has somewhere to go. He does tend to overact slightly. But thinking about this in an arena setting – he is playing to huge crowds. Have you seen the prices by the way? Almost £70 for the best seats! Anyway – yes – he delivers this song with panache and his confidence is coming back. At this rate, he’ll still be here on Tues, maybe Wednesday – depends how many they choose to have in the final. Who knows? The format keeps changing so much, I was surprised that they didn’t have to play Countdown at the end instead of sing for survival. 

Nathan is shown being a bit of a diva. There must be hours of footage they could show, but they are still choosing for him to play Gloria Swanson, playing Norma Desmond. Like a great tennis player he answers his critics with an ace – “Sweet Child Of Mine.” His vocals are unbelievably good – there are no cracks in the voice, no bum notes – it’s perfect. I loved his performance. Nathan is given the chance to fight back and he says: “I’ve taken a bit of a beating. ” He’s right, of course. But these shows need ‘characters’ and like Big Brother and I’m a Celeb – these are constructed. His best defense now is that voice.

In a summary The Lord mentions that there were great performances and numbers them, leaving poor Jon out. So, when it comes to the bottom three, we can almost guess who’s going to be there. It’s Jon, Jeff and Roger and two must go home. They sing “Can we start again please?” Is this what the producers might be thinking? Andrew cuts to the chase and praises and saves Roger. He gives Jon some overdue compliments but after the kicking he got tonight, it’s probably all white noise. He tells Jeff he will play Jesus one day. Cue – Bill Kenwright stroking an inflatable sheep from the Joseph tour with Jeff on redial.

Who’s your winner?