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What are your favourite put-downs in theatre?

From Shakespeare to musicals, there are some great one-line zingers out there

Harriet Thorpe and Tracie Bennett in Mame
© Pamela Raith

Whether it be musical theatre or a good ole' fashioned Shakespeare, theatre is full of some of the best one-line zingers out there.

Up in Manchester right now Aunt Mame herself is no stranger to a barbed put-down at the Hope Mill Theatre, and to honour her excellently charged wit ("That's a B. It's the first letter of a seven-letter word that means your late father..."), we wanted to know what your favourite stagey jibes are.

Any we loved your replies! Check out our favourites below:

The cast of Mame
© Pamela Raith

Vera Charles: "If you kept your hair natural like I do..."
Auntie Mame: "If I kept my hair natural like yours, I'd be bald"

9 to 5 the musical – the song "Get Out and Stay Out"

Judy Burnly: "So get out and stay out, I've finally had enough
"Don't kiss me on your way out, it wouldn't move me much"

Sweeney Todd – the song "Pirelli's Miracle Elixir''

Tobias: "Yes, get Pirelli's
Use a bottle of it
Ladies seem to love it"
Mrs Lovett: "Flies do, too!"

Ricky Butt, Kirsty Hoiles and Mazz Murray in Mamma Mia!
© Brinkhoff/ Mogenburg
Mamma Mia!

Tanya: (flirting with Pepper) "I'm old enough to be your mother"
Rosie: "Grandmother!"


Tracy Turnblad: "Amber Von Tussle, you have acne of the soul"

Lizzie Bea and Marisha Wallace in Hairspray the Musical!
© Dewynters
The Importance of Being Earnest

Lady Bracknell: "To lose one parent is unfortunate, to lose two sounds very much like carelessness''

An Englishman Abroad

Coral Browne: "Outside Shakespeare, the word "treason" to me means nothing
"Only you pissed in our soup, and we drank it"