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Day 1 - An Incident With Cottage Cheese

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I ate a cupcake at 7:30 this morning. Must be the day we drive to the Edinburgh Fringe.

As the sun was rising three members of Idle Motion squeezed into the front of our white transit van, an unlikely bunch to say the least but we quickly made ourselves at home (see the aforementioned cupcake). The van was not the best in the world – as Greg described, driving it was a bit like “dancing in a swimming pool of treacle whilst trying to arrange a pile of ornate bricks on a windy boat”. To cheer him up we got him some caffeine and blew the dust of his mate’s mum’s ‘best of the 60s’ CD and our best attempt at air steel drums came out. Unfortunately this didn’t last long as we quickly realised that the use of the word ‘best’ in the CD title was, well, a lie.

As we hit Scotland the rest of Idle Motion set of on their epic 10 hour coach trip (no expense spared). At this point we were feeling quite smug. Little did we know what was to come.

We arrived and had to park the van which was no easy feat and then managed to find time for a cheeky nap. It was when we woke up that the hard work really started. It was time to go to the supermarket buy food. For 11 people. To last at least a week if not more. This resulted in three huge trolley’s worth of food and alcohol and a receipt that can only be described as epic. The smugness had started to dissipate at this point though we were still feeling pretty proud our kamikaze food shop. That was until someone asked – ‘how the hell are we going to get these home?’ My suggestion? Steal the trolleys. The smarter suggestion? Taxi.

So we piled it all into a taxi and onto ourselves, much to the amusement of the driver and set off home. As we pulled up next to the front door he opened the side doors. Big. Mistake. The cottage cheese made a break for it and began rolling down the hill with our artistic producer chasing after it. Didn’t think it could get any funnier until he hurled past a bus stop full of Edinburgh locals sighing at the arrival of the theatre company next door. It was recovered eventually but even then the ordeal wasn’t over. We then had the arduous task of shuttling it all up four flights of stairs. Suffice it to say the mayonnaise didn’t make it.

So it’s day one. We’ve sweated, we’ve sworn but it’s all in preperation for the month ahead. Come on then Fringe – let’s be having you.


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