Anoushka Warden: 'Rehearsals are exciting and dreadful and all the feelings in the world'
© Helen Murray
After my relief of walking into rehearsals on day one having learnt the whole play I was suddenly plummeted into deep despair as it turns out blocking each section of the play (we had divided it into 42 sections) is the HARDEST THING EVER.
I can't do magic eye pictures, pat my head whilst rubbing my tummy or learn dance routines. If I was running a Drama School I'd make sure the above were all part of the audition process as I think it must involve the same part of the brain.
By the end of week one of rehearsals we had only managed to get through 32 sections. I was crap at it. But at least the end was in sight (section 36 and 38 were just lists so woohoo!).
In my normal job as PR I'm used to having a to do list which I make sure I get through before the end of the week, even if that means staying late on a Friday night (saddo). My office brain couldn't get to grips with ending a week and still having work left over. Debbie, the director, assured me this was quite fine and all part of her plan. But she had also started wearing sunglasses during the afternoon sessions, so I couldn't be completely sure she wasn't drifting off with the boredom of how slow I was.*
I've been trying really hard to not compare myself to what Patsy [Ferran] was like in rehearsals of the original production, but that first weekend it was impossible not to. She did an off-book run for us AND Royal Court staff on her very first day in rehearsals. THE FIRST FLIPPING DAY!!! She definitely knows how to do magic eyes and head patting. I love her.
Week two and by the end of Monday we had finished blocking the play, thank god. Debbie said that was a day ahead of schedule so I was secretly pleased. It felt like getting a gold star (I am quite competitive).
Being in rehearsals is weird.
Everything else in my life that I normally cared about just didn't seem to matter as much. I'd stopped reading magazines in the bath and now only did the weird moo-ing sirens in there whilst staring absently at the bathroom tiles. I hadn't thought about what I'd like to cook for dinner in over a week. I had ignored excited voicemails from friends saying they had ‘big news to tell me.'
Being honest, I just didn't or couldn't care. I wasn't even looking through my ASOS wish list during pooing anymore. It had changed me. I hope old me comes back once the play is up and running. I've not obsessed over an item of clothes in Topshop for over a month. THAT IS NOT NORMAL!
However, I had been visiting Ryman's** a LOT. I've never really been into getting excited about stationary – but now I was in there most lunchtimes. My new kit included:
– Blue highlighter
– Pink highlighter
– Lighter pink highlighter
– Standard 4 in 1 pen (red, green, black and blue)
– Flashy modern 4 in 1 pen (light green, pink, purple and sky blue)
– A pencil***
– A rubber (I'd not used a rubber since… I can't remember)
– A ruler
– Black sharpie
– Loads of A4 plain paper (it felt most odd buying this as I haven't had to purchase white paper since I was at uni, as when you work in an office you just nick it from the work printer).
– And finally, a special A4 bendable display plastic wallet folder for my script. (I drew a big ‘TWAT' with black sharpie on the front cover and then rested it on my right thigh on the bus to rehearsals during the heatwave, and when I lifted it off I had the letters semi-permanently tattooed on to my leg for the next two days. Twat.)
© Helen Murray
By end of week two I was finally ready for an audience and I did a run for invited friends on the final Friday. It was great and bad and exciting and dreadful and all the feelings in the world. But most importantly it was under an hour, which considering the original text read at about an hour 30 I was very, very pleased. As nearly every comment I've ever heard directors say whilst watching a preview is ‘it could do with being ten mins quicker.' Summerhall were expecting a 70-minute show but I had whittled it down to 60 mins so I'd basically be giving ticket buyers the gift of time!
The next day I had to pack as on the Sunday I was off to Edinburgh. Turns out there was something that involved more focus than rehearsals – packing for a month. This was five and a half hours of logistical hell.
I could only take one big suitcase and I already had five pairs of shoes that were essential (running trainers, normal trainers, flip flops for swimming, flat boots and small heeled boots) – none of these were even exciting fashion choices. I was compromising so much.
I lay ALL the clothes I'd ideally like out on my bed. That was stage one. Stage two was a ruthless cull of clothes I could actually wear in a climate that was mostly warm but with rain and colder nights. This stage involved a lot of trying on to ensure every item would really work. Stage three was the vacuum pack and squeeze in stage (I managed to fit three jumpers and a puffer jacket into something the size of a thick magazine thanks to the vacuum packing). Stage four was cram the case shut AND have a break out small emergency case of clothes that if I really missed I could get one of my pals to bring up and another to bring back.
I left for King's Cross looking like a normal traveller with one small rucksack and a large suitcase. However due to all the vacuum packing it weighed a flipping ton. I then did an extremely cheeky move. For the parts of the station that had no escalators I waited until I spotted a macho and strong looking large person and then asked them sweetly if they wouldn't mind helping me with my case – my ask would be can we carry it together, this is a crucial part of the asking. They of course would say yes and also not for me to help THEN the poor human would struggle with something that was heavier than the Great Wall of China. Big shoutout to the four strangers who helped me.
I arrived in Edinburgh at 4.30pm and my tech started at Summerhall at 7pm – we had until 11pm. Four hours sounded like a long time for an hour show. I'm not a very good evening person so I ate three Reese's peanut butter chocolate bars (the new ones that look like Lion bars) and got on with it. Tech whizzed by and felt like 15 minutes. I didn't have time to be nervous plus someone had wisely pointed out that tech is for the technical team not me, for them to get their sounds and lights shizzle in order.
At the end of teching we did the dress rehearsal at 10pm. This is a horrible time to have to perform, my voice was tired and my energy was a bit low. I've no idea how people actually do that every night here (I'm on at 5.30pm thank goodness!). The final word of the play came out of my mouth at 10.59pm and we walked out the door dead on the end of our tech session. We had won at tech and I felt quite good about it all.
Then I had two days to wait before first preview and I crashed into a storm of worry and anxiety.
Debbie and I rehearsed and I did runs of the play as a jogged around The Meadows and I worked out my pre-show schedule. Something that took far more thinking than I had ever realised possible. What time would I eat, when would I wash, what outfit would I wear for pre and post show, when would I do my script work, physical and vocal warmup? This all felt quite overwhelming so I wrote big time maps on paper which I stuck to the wall.
Noush's pre-show timings
Before 2pm – 30 mins of script work and a walk or run where I do the whole play in my head.
Before 3pm – eat.
3.30pm – shower and moisturise and dress
4.10pm – stretches
4.40pm – vocal warm-up and then articulation exercises (and on average about four wees during this time)
5.03pm – neck some buttercup syrup, do a final wee, eat a vocal zone and leave the house.
Luckily the flat I'm staying in is next door to Summerhall so I can do all this at home and then be at the venue in a couple of minutes.
I had 34 people in for first preview which apparently is flipping good. I was the most nervous I have ever been about anything, and I couldn't stop needing a wee, but when the house lights went off and the show lighting began I did it. I don't know how but I did it and being honest I can't quite remember anything from that first show apart from I DID IT!
* Debbie later confirmed that she had been suffering with a eye thing hence the shades.
** I was disappointed to see that Ryman's don't have a loyalty card. They are missing a trick.
*** Stupidly I didn't think to buy a pencil sharpener, if I could go back and do things differently I'd have bought one too.
Anoushka Warden is performing her play My Mum's A Tw*t at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe at Summerhall, Red Lecture Theatre at 17:30, from 31st July – 25th August (not 1st, 12th or 19th August)
