Martin Creed is a 42 year-old Scottish artist who sings, paints, and
now stages a sad little show for which he rightly apologises all the
way through before singing a song inviting us to “F” word jolly well
The feeling’s mutual, Martin old son, despite quite liking your
primitive raunchy rock sound with the onstage band ranged down one side
of the stage.
Creed uses five girl ballet dancers from Sadler’s Wells to come and go
in the five basic positions while he composes songs, literally, from
A-Z and 1-100.
It’s like a child’s version of the avant-garde fifty years too late. On
a white screen, he shows us his own penis rising and falling (cheers,
Then a girl comes on film (sic) and vomits copiously. Another squats in
profile and defecates. I don’t really mind this as much as I mind the
twee, faux-naivete with which it’s presented. The whole thing