1. "The leopard never changes its spots and the slapper never changes her knickers."
2. "Famous people shouldn't be so tiny. It seems dishonest."
3. "What gets me just as much as people who treat the Bible like it's the Constitution are the people who treat the Constitution like it's the Bible."
4. "World goes to sleep at night. Wakes up and it needs two things. A cup of coffee and some vicious gossip."
5. "The worst vice is advice, so I don't give any."
6. "The Yank said, 'Ah, better to get a normal fella who can act crippled than a crippled fella who can't fecking act at all.'"
7. "I like you. You're a nice monster."
8. "I couldn't find a better husband than Sam and I couldn't find a better lover than Ned... I need them both to be happy."
9. "No one ever goes back to normal after they've been on television."
10. "Being fooled by art is one of the primary pleasures afforded the middle classes. They love it, can't get enough of it."
11. "The inside of her head is like a masked ball: you never know with whom you're dancing."
12. "Some people build fences to keep people out, and some people build fences to keep people in."
13. "[I'm] exhausted. Sweating like a f***ing dyslexic on Countdown."
14. "If God ever listened to a poor coloured woman, the world would be a different place."
15. "Everything perishes save music and love."
- Hampstead Theatre
- Lenny Henry
- Bush Theatre
- Merrily We Roll Along
- National Theatre
- Douglas Hodge
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
- Clarke Peters
- West End
- Judi Dench
- The Color Purple
- Menier Chocolate Factory
- Off-West End
- St James Theatre
- Sweet Bird of Youth
- Daniel Radcliffe
- Old Vic
- The Ladykillers
- The Same Deep Water as Me
- Suranne Jones