Katie Goodman: My Favourite Places in Edinburgh

1. This first item on my list will probably not appear in the airplane magazines but a souvenir purchase from here will certainly be appreciated back home more than the kilt you got them last year…

The sex toy shops

My fave is “Organic Pleasures.” Now, I have lived in Brooklyn, Malibu, and several other hippy areas in the U.S. and have yet to come across something that touts “eco-erotic boutique” items such as organic, water-based, dye-free and artificial-color-free lubricants. I mean, really, have we come a long way, women or what?! Non-toxic booty calls, guys? Now, that is gonna get you some action. Attractive and considerate of our health? You had us at “sustainably-produced.”

2. Ladies, ya gotta check out the clothing boutiques: Edinburgh has great fashion, and I had no idea til I got there. There is a boutique I love right on Princes Street (and really, people, I am trying to remember names of places, but the Fringe has a way of killing brain cells as all of you know – plus if you know me you’ll know my song titled “These Are The Things I Can’t F**king Remember” and you will at least not be surprised). It was here that I bought a top so cool in a Blade-Runner-Meets-Mad-Max kind of way that I have several times put it on upside-down. Not inside-out, folks: upside-down.

3. And finally… You must must must do the following:

Step One: Go to Old Town and buy a flask with some Celtic-y design on it at a gift shop.

Step Two: Go to a scotch specialty store and buy just enough of something brilliant to fill the flask.

Step Three: Spend the rest of the day wandering from street performer to street performer, sipping said scotch out of said flask.

I have no idea if this is legal but you’ll be so happy you won’t give a shit.

Katie Goodman’s I DIDN’T F*CK IT UP plays at The Gilded Balloon Teviot – Wine Bar from July 31 – August 25th at 16.30