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Guest Blog: Creating an alternative Christmas Show

Boris and Sergey, and Margaret Thatcher, the Queen of Soho tell us in their own words how Theatre503 is bringing something different to Christmas at the Theatre this year

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Boris and Sergey's Vaudevillian Xmas Adventure

Boris and Sergey
© Sebastian Xander

Sergey: Hallo WhatsOnStage.com, we are very excited about bringing the people of London something different over Christmas. Our show involves the audience a great deal as we play poker with them, crack old time music hall jokes and molest unsuspecting volunteers. You can get away with anything as puppet.

Boris: He's right you know, I've lost count of the amount of times I've gotten away with indecent exposure, assaulting people at cash machines, and we kidnap and torture critics all the time to get good reviews.

Sergey: Ok thank you Boris… As I was saying we have taken our 46 star sell out show and given it a seasonal rehash. There are no dames, ‘he's behind you!' or Christmas morals from pagan folk stories. It is a plethora of pleasing plays and skits for your viewing pleasure. Wouldn't you agree Boris?

Boris: Christmas is a special time of year, when we all celebrate the birth of Noddy Holder.

Sergey: …this is all very new to him. My brother gets very excited by this holiday so basically we are here to spread Christmas cheer and what better way to do this than through the medium of vaudeville. We promise you a night to remember with a show you'll never forget…

Boris: …Or your money back guaranteed.

Sergey: No! We hope to see you there. Have a Merry Christmas with Boris & Sergey.

Margaret Thatcher Queen of Soho

Margaret Thatcher Queen of Soho

Dear WhatsOnStage,

One wouldn't call oneself alternative. Rather the term we would use is ‘second* greatest all round entertainer of all time'. So in my show, like a conservative manifesto, there's something for everyone! There are songs, jokes and an epic story about how I went from being the Prime Minister who supported the introduction of section 28, to the ultimate gay icon!

I remember when I first came up for the idea for this show; Meryl Streep got in contact immediately and I must say that throughout the rehearsal process she really did make some excellent tea. One must be very careful however when deciding what to include in one's show and "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" was discarded early on because of the unfortunate association with the Falklands. The tank on the other hand was none negotiable.

Obviously rehearsals have been tiring - sometimes I've had to go on only two hours sleep rather than my customary two and a quarter - but luckily, I keep a nice bottle of milk on hand at all times in case I need refreshment. I never share it with my backing dancers of course – one has a reputation to maintain.

So come along to Battersea this Christmas for a drag comedy Christmas extravaganza like no other! At the very least its better than a John Major burlesque show!
Thank you my dears and I'll see you in December!
Mags x

*I know I'm good, but nobody beats Ken Dodd.

Boris and Sergey's Vaudevillian Xmas Adventure and Margaret Thatcher Queen of Soho are at Theatre503 from 10 December