Guest Blog: Desperately Seeking the British Government
Um, excuse me?
British Government? Where are you and why aren’t you coming to more Fringe
shows? You might think that the Fringe is all drama freaks drinking excessive
amounts of whisky, but amidst the drunken haze, there are some extremely
important policy developments going on. I know it’s tempting to just stay home
and watch TV – those gardening shows are admittedly addictive – but the answer
to all of the world’s political problems are at the Fringe and, as your
temporary American constituent with no voting power, I’m outraged that you
aren’t taking us seriously!!
Salmond, the First Minister of Scotland, apparently has a “heavily committed
diary” and Ed Vaizey, the UK Culture Minister, might be missing the biggest
cultural event in his own country!
Take for example,
my very own show, The Israeli-Palestinian Conflict: A Romantic
Comedy. The
show tracks the Middle East back to a fateful run-in between Israel and
Palestine at the Geneva Convention in 1948. What started as a flirty dinner
turns into a one-night stand and then decades of relationship drama resulting
in the conflict we all know and love (to be frustrated by) today. But the show
doesn’t just cite problems, oh no. Our goal is peace. Similar to the Two State
Solution, we came up with an answer called: The Two Genital Solution. Now,
don’t you think the Quartet’s Special Envoy to the Middle East (the gentleman
named Tony “Michael Sheen” Blair), should be investigating the political merits
of the undoubtedly effective Two Genital Solution? (He can’t come either). If
everything else has failed, why can’t large scale boning between Israelis and
Palestinians be at least tested as a policy option?
Or, British
Government, you could check out the folks at Politically Erect
Comedy, where undoubtedly more genital-based solutions are proffered.
Becky Donohue’s Bilingual Comedian is effectively
resolving all European immigration issues if only some sort of governing body
would take notice (I’m looking at you, Parliament).
Or you could see Skinny
Bitch Jesus Meeting, a duo that’s bridging the gap between hot skinny
girls and religion (something that Margaret Thatcher attempted
but clearly never achieved).
Never mind the
international peacekeeping stylings of my other scheduled show, The
Dirty Immigrant Collective – they’re like the UN General Assembly but
without the Oil-For-Food scandal or headsets. Of course you won’t see David Cameron
in the Dirty Immigrant audience because he hasn’t responded
to my invite yet! I’m a constituent with feelings, Mr. Cameron. Rude!
I’m holding out
for Mike Pringle, the only solid “maybe” I got out of the Scottish
Parliament. Pringle clearly knows where all the solutions to the world’s
problems are – they’re obviously at the Fringe!
Negin co-wrote and is performing in The Israeli-Palestinian Conflict: A Romantic Comedy. She is a Californian-raised Iranian-American, who is now based in New York. Negin holds two master’s degrees from Columbia University where she studied public policy and race relations. She was winner of the Lifetime Woman Filmmaker Award for her short film, Hot Bread Kitchen and her solo show, Bootleg Islam, which she wrote and performed, has appeared in multiple comedy festivals around the US, culminating in an off-Broadway run.
The Israeli-Palestinian Conflict: A Romantic Comedy runs at Whistlebinkies, 7-25 August at 17.15.
