Hello. I AM ON THE TRAIN (I typed that loudly to annoy fellow passengers). I have already successfully annoyed people by filling up the overhead storage racks with my profusion of bags and by spilling my gin and tonic all over my train table while trying to retrieve something from my bag stew.

I wouldn't normally drink on the train but I'm travelling on some kind of cheap first class ticket with free food and drink. So far I have had two free coffees, the free gin and tonic (I managed to drink about half before spilling the rest), some free sandwiches (two with standard egg and bacon filling, two with more exotic onion bhaji and lettuce) and a free slice of cake. I could have snaffled lots more free stuff like crisps and biscuits, which would have been a good way of stocking my empty Edinburgh larder, but I wasn't thinking.

As I was struggling with my bags on the platform at King's Cross, I bumped into Dan Woods - the other half of Can You Dig It? It was good to see him, even though he laughed at my luggage mountain, because it means I won't have to do the show on my own. I am looking forward to checking out our room at the Royal Botanic Garden Edinburgh. Dan has been but I have only seen photos. We have still got to sort out our set and our grand entrance. I wanted to be lowered onto the stage in a shed but apparently we can't afford that. Instead we might be doing something undignified involving a wheelbarrow.