A pantomime for adults. Calling all southern softies: spend the winter in Upper Jumper, Yorkshire’s least tourist-friendly village! Jack Trott and his mum are poor dairy farmers, forced to sell their beloved cow Kylie for a handful of magic beans. Worse, evil landlord Fleshcreep is trying to evict them so he can stage a festival on their farm. Enter Cillian O’Connell: sexy TV talent-show hopeful (and compulsive selfie-taker), hiding from the press after a drug scandal. Can he inject some love into their lives before Fleshcreep gets his hands on Jack’s beans? With cross-dressing, romance, sweet-throwing, silliness and songs, this is panto and then some.