Adult panto. Join our hero Dick! and his wallflower cat, 'Dave', on their adventures into London town, seeking fame, fortune and friends with benefits. Along the way meet the heiress to the 'Fitz-Nicely' fortune, 'Alice', with her long lost and debauched relative, 'Sofonda Cox', a faded showgirl with a dark, disgusting and delicious secret. Dick! and his new found friends dare to do battle against the evil-licious and diva-tastic 'Queen Runt', as they set sail upon the Leaky Vessel, journeying up the Streaky Crack on a quest to find the family jewels. Will 'Dave' always be alone? Will 'Alice' ever get Dick!? and what does the legend of the 'Bell-End' actually mean? All will be uncensored by the new, Lord Mayor of London, as we finally find out if city hall can be run by a Dick!'