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11 of the funniest Shakespearean insults

To celebrate the Bard’s birthday, we enlisted the help of Sh*t-faced Shakespeare to put together some of their favourite Shakespearean burns

This Sunday would have been Bard's 453rd birthday. He may be best known for his plays and sonnets, but he was also a pioneer of insults. So to celebrate his birthday we asked the cast of Sh*t-faced Shakespeare for their favourite Shakespeare insults.


"Thine face is not worth sunburning."

Henry V (Act Five, Scene Two)

"Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon."

Timon of Athens (Act Four, Scene Three)

"I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands."

Timon of Athens (Act Four, Scene Three)

"Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee."

All’s Well That Ends Well (Act Two, Scene Three)

"You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!"

Henry IV Part 2 (Act Two, Scene One)

Much Ado About Nothing (Act Three, Scene Four)
Much Ado About Nothing (Act Three, Scene Four)

"Villain, I have done thy mother"

Titus Andronicus (Act Four, Scene Two)

"Thou art as fat as butter."

Henry IV Part One (Act Two, Scene Four)

"Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows "

Troilus and Cressida (Act Two, Scene One)

"The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes."

The Comedy of Errors (Act Five, Scene Four)

"Away, you three-inch fool!"

The Taming of the Shrew (Act Three, Scene Three)

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Sh*t-Faced Shakespeare – Much Ado About Nothing runs at the Leicester Square Theatre until 16 September.

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