Overheard at the box office: the best questions and oddest comments from audience members

We pick some of our favourite anecdotes from over the years!

Shaftesbury Avenue in London
Shaftesbury Avenue

In an on-going bid to keep people's spirits up in these strange and uncertain times at WOS Towers we thought we'd return to one of our favourite subjects to spread cheer – the best questions and oddest comments from audience members to box office staff. These are some of our favourite regulars. You'd be amazed how often they are asked!

And let us state it right now – all of these are true.

• What time does the 8 o'clock show start?

• Can I have seats facing the stage please?

• Sorry we only have singles left madam.
OK – do you have two of them together?

• What time is the matinee?
Is that 2.30pm?

• I'm sorry but we only have restricted view tickets left.
What does that mean?
It means that you won't be able to see everything.
Oh, at what point will we have to leave?

• I had a tall person in front of me – I couldn't see a thing. You should arrange your audience in height order…

When Miss Saigon was playing in the West End, a customer asked one of the front of house;
What time roughly does the roof open to allow the helicopter to fly in? I'd like to stand outside and watch…

During the IRA bombing campaign in London, someone genuinely asked the following;
I don't suppose you can tell me where the next bomb's going to be can you?

Query at the Novello Theatre where Mamma Mia! plays;
Is Meryl Streep on tonight?

Question for the Queen's (now the Sondheim) Theatre box office one time;
Customer: Do you have any tickets for The Lion King?
Box Office: No madam, this is Les Misérables?
Customer: Oh – don't all the theatres show all the shows?

To the Open Air Theatre in Regent's Park;
Is the theatre air-conditioned?

• Box office staff: Hi sir – did you buy your ticket from an agent?
Customer: No, he was definitely white.

And two lovely stories to end on…

• During the run of Noises Off one patron walked out shortly after the start demanding a refund because they hadn't paid to "watch a rehearsal".

• And our favourite is the true story of a the lady who walked out half way through the first act of Madame de Sade (with Judi Dench) demanding a refund. She thought she'd bought tickets for Madame Tussauds.