1. It's an homage to Coward's Private Lives. Taking on one of the funniest plays ever written means that either (a) I'll equal Coward, and myself produce one of the funniest plays ever written or (b) fall flat on my big fat face – and what is funnier than seeing someone fall on their face?
So either way, you're laughing.
2. If the comedy doesn't work out, I'll have to go back to the tales of ultra-violence in small town pubs that made up my earlier plays, and the research for that sort of material is hard on a 41-year old. Please, come and spare me.
3. Our female leads, Eva-Jane Willis and Kelly Hotten, come highly rated by comedy legends Marks & Gran (The New Statesman, Birds of a Feather, Goodnight Sweetheart). And the boys – Ken Nwosu and Tom Berish – are very pretty (or Tom will be, once we give him a haircut).
4. It's part of a brilliant season of Watford Palace Theatre-commissioned new plays about the digital revolution. This also includes Virgin by E.V. Crowe and Override by Stacey Gregg. What's more, you can see all three plays on a single day for just £27.50.
5. And if you're between the ages of 16 and 25, you can see any play in the season just for a fiver!