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Synopsis Euro 2000 - The European Football Championships. Millionaire ticket tout Baz has blown it all on dot-com shares, so it's off to Belgium with his reluctant sidekick Tosser to get rid of 300 tickets for the England v. Germany game to a bunch of pissed-up Geordies. In 2000, Mike Packer followed the ticket touts to Euro 2000. This is the play he wrote specifically for The Bush about his experiences.
If you're not an inveterate gambler, taking your seat for Mike Packer's A Carpet, A Pony and A Monkey can be daunting. The distributed glossary of terms - explaining all three titular expressions plus some dozen others - made me feel the need to cram as if preparing for an exam. In the first few minutes, my heart sunk as I frantically consulted my glossary in laymen confusion.
Thankfully, my panic was short-lived, for the trade lingo is a device that Packer uses only to top and tail his piece to ease us in and out of the alien world of the ticket tout, as embodied here by Baz and his surly sidekick Tosser.
Having lost his fortune in dotcom shares, Baz must hightail it to Belgium during Euro 2000 and try to shift 300 England v Germany tickets to hordes of pissed-up Geordies. Commissioned by The Bush two years ago, Packer himself travelled with touts to Euro 2000 and, while it helps - certainly with anticipating the dramatic tension - if you too can recall a bit about this ignominious tournament (the English fans' shameful hooliganism, Ulrika Jonsson and the quarterfinal denied for the sake of a draw), it isn't necessary. For the underlying themes - the traps of self-delusion and deceit, xenophobia masquerading as patriotism - are conveyed with forceful clarity, even with the distraction of the final scenes' less intriguing foray into blackmail, media manipulation and shallow fame.
Director Mike Bradwell elicits universally superb performances from his four-strong cast. Philip Jackson's world-wearily cunning Baz never ceases to fascinate with his lies that mount to such a degree that neither the audience nor the other characters know quite what to believe.
Lucy Punch - formerly seen in the West End in The Graduate and undoubtedly an actress to watch - is pitch-perfect as a gold-digging, surgically enhanced and intellectually challenged football groupie; her falsely empathetic patter and unbridled greed is hilarious. And Nicholas Tennant (pictured) as the racist little Tosser and Clint Dyer as a proud, occasionally violent, black footballer provide further sterling support.
Top scores too for Lisa Lillywhite's highly functional set, an identikit-style Eurotel room with flip-up beds, mini-bar cupboards and rotating screens that transform it quickly into a bookmakers - plus a chalked-up green carpet lest you forget the sport of choice.
If you're a devotee of said sport, A Carpet, A Pony and A Monkey is the perfect choice for some pre-World Cup inspiration. If you're not, don't be deterred. This is a riveting evening for football fans, gamblers and all other walks of life as well.
A small theatre with a mighty reputation! A premiere new writing theatre, The Bush has discovered and produced some of the most important playwrights, directors and actors over the last 30 years. Bush alumni include Conor MacPherson, Anthony Neilson, Bob Hoskins, Alan Rickman, Catherine Johnson, Julie Walters, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Bean and many many more. Only new plays are produced at this intimate (100 seat) venue on Shepherd's Bush Green and The Bush reads every script it is sent - currently 1500 a year, commissions up to 7 new plays a year and works with young writers to develop their skills. If you want to see the best, first - see it at The Bush. Due to move and operate from the old Shepherd's Bush Library in 2011 with an inaugural season in the autumn.
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