1. The music

Trevor Ashley does <i>Liza</i>
Trevor Ashley does Liza
© Spekulation Entertainment

Ms Minnelli's song catalogue reads like a dream. From "Maybe This Time" to "Cabaret", from "Liza with a Z" to "New York, New York", you'll get a hit of all her, umm hits! Not only this, 'Liza' will sing a few things that she's never sung before, including her own version of a Lady Gaga mashup, to a performance of "Sunset Boulevard" (a role she's about to do!)

2. The Band

Not only do you get an almost real version of Liza, but she's brought along a big band to make her brassy hits even brassier! All the boys are based in London, and they're led by musical director James Simpson, all the way from Australia. Not only are they fabulous players, they're all extremely cute. I found them annoying Helen Mirren outside her West End theatre a few months ago.

3. The Costumes

You can't have a Liza show without sequins, and we've got a bucket-load! In real fake Halston and Mackie rip-offs, I get to wear a sequin pantsuit for all occasions, just in case you don't notice the female impersonator in front of the band in the spotlight. You really won't miss me!

4. It's very, very funny

If I do say so myself. Whether you love or hate Liza, you'll get a bunch of belly laughs as I take the mickey out of her crazy speeches, her hip replacements, her sister and of course David Gest. There are parodies and some appalling dancing which was apparently choreographed by Fosse. I doubt he'd recognise it however.

5. It's like a real Liza concert only cheaper!

It is really like going to see Liza at the Albert Hall, only this time it's a quarter of the price. If you give your mother a couple of drinks before the show, she won't even know that it's not the real Liza! What have you got to lose? Go on, come taste the wine, come hear the band...

Liza (on an E) is at the Manchester Dancehouse from 1 - 2 October and the Liverpool Auditorium at the Liverpool Echo on 5 October.