Reader Reviews
Ducktastic! (Noel Coward Theatre, West End)
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 | It seems a pity to review a show on the day it closes but having seen the penultimate night, I felt it deserves comment. It's amazing how the words "all seats £10" can bring into the theatre a sellout audience of enthusiastic punters who are willing to suspend their £45-a-night principles and actually enjoy something they paid for. Although Ducktastic is thin on plot, overloaded with cheap gags and laughable illusions, it's full of energy and fun and if you treat it like a pantomime you can see what a damn shame it is that this show won't last through Christmas when it would be a far fresher and more original family option than watching McKellen wring the neck of Widow Twankey. Sadly, Ducktastic will now give way to a dry old winter's tale of Shakespeare's "comedies" in Cameron's pretentious first season in the newly named Ivor Novello Theatre. Don't think Dear Ivor was much of a one for Shakespeare. As the cod illusionists, McColl and Foley work harder than any two men on the West End stage, supported by a cast which includes the charming Liz Crowther who must recognise half the jokes from when her Dad used to present Crackerjack. The duck imagery wears pancake thin, of course, and the participation of the live ducks is really only a sight gag since they do little more than run from one side of the stage to the other. The staging is heavily dependent on trapdoors, so let's hope they find sufficient touring theatres which can take it, and a price structure that gives them full houses. - 195.93.21.37) | 19 Nov 05 |
| Saw 'Play Wot I wrote' earlier this year and thought the biggest load of unmitigated rubbish I had ever seen - until last week when I saw 'Ducktastic'! Only went to please friends but tried to give them the benefit of the doubt. Pathetic, unfunny, insulting to the intelligence, complete waste of time and money. Don't blow your £10. Use it to sit in the Gods and see something decent and deserving of being in the West End. Normally feel sympathy for cast in this situation but in this instance I feel far too ripped off to do so. - 194.217.194.138) | 10 Nov 05 |
| Well having just sat through this load of rubbish myself, I agree with Theresa, only those with a personal interest could possibly give it more than 1 star. Pathetic jokes, sad little ducks trotting about, bad script. Put your tenner towards something decent, I wouldn't reccomend it if they gave you a tenner! - 62.254.64.17) | 04 Nov 05 |
| In answer to Theresa, my review was posted NOT as a member of the cast NOR as an investor. Theresa thinks it's terrible and she's entitled to her opinion. I disagree! I saw it (and shall return) and rated it 4 stars - because it's a fun show - terrific achievement by Sean and Hamish and (sadly since it's been announced today that it's closing in 16 days) here's another reason to go and see it .... the tickets are all £10 each for the rest of the run. If you like magic (15 stunning illusions), if you like farce & like comedy and like double acts - go and support this great show in the last 16 days. Thanks! - 195.93.21.100) | 03 Nov 05 |
| Having seen this utter rubbish, I can only conclude that those giving it more that 1 star are the cast members and investors. For your own sake as well as the reputation of the west end please believe it's absolutely terrible! More HONEST reviews required, please - really, the emperor has no clothes on here! - 82.39.152.104) | 03 Nov 05 |
| Did all those people see the same show as me! I thought it was utter rubbish, a total waste of time and money. Purile gibberish. - 62.254.64.17) | 31 Oct 05 |
| Loved the show, pure fun for an evening, haven't laughed that much in a long long time. - 62.6.139.13) | 30 Oct 05 |
| Me and my friends saw this on Thursday and it was hilarious. Have a drink before and in the interval and you'll relax in to the farcical, jokes-as-old-as-the-hills, slapstick show that it is obviously meant to be. Bravo the cast!! - 82.111.128.3) | 29 Oct 05 |
| Saw "DUCKTASTIC" last Wednesday at the matinee and thoroughly enjoyed it. Let's get the very minor negatives out of the way first: the final illusion failed to work (as happened at the critics' preview, according to 'Time Out') and really should be sorted - 'cos when the big illusion just before the walk down doesn't work it's NOT good! Plus the songs are not up to the standard of the rest of the show. You can't hear all the words and I'm sure they're witty and clever, if the rest of the script is anything to go by. Now to the many positives! This show is a comedy, it's a farce, it's a musical, it's a drama (there are touching moments when the pace slows down to give some contrast to the frenetic atmosphere of the rest of the show) and with 15 major illusions - before your very eyes - it's MAGIC! Sean Foley (a rubber-limbed Neil Morrissey sound-alike) and Hamish McColl (think Tom Baker meets Rik Mayall) are the two stars of the show who wrote it too: what talent! They have created a wonderful production with great sets (how do they cram all those props into the apparantly bijou Albery Theatre?), great gags, brilliant illusions, funny lines (OK some of them are a bit corny) but it's original, it's unique and must have taken a huge amount of rehearsal to get the show as slick as it is. The supporting actors are great - hats off to them and good luck to the show. Ignore the writers on this site who have given it 1 or 2 stars - it's a definite 4 for me. Get the songs and the final illusion sorted and it gets an upgrade to 5 *****. Go see it! - 195.93.21.100) | 28 Oct 05 |
| Just a wonderfully silly, whacky,hugely entertaining night out for me and my family. Go see it!!! - 82.111.128.3) | 28 Oct 05 |
| While this is hardly high-brow stuff, "Ducktastic" does make a great alternative to the christmas panto. It has enough slapstick comedy and neat magic tricks to occupy the younger members of the audience and a fair bit of (sometimes less than subtle) dirty innuendo to keep the adults entertained. Don't expect subtle witty jokes, some of this stuff is so cringe worthy I actually found myself laughing, but the actors seem to be having so much fun you can't help but enjoy it too. - 217.41.58.175) | 26 Oct 05 |
| shame on you if you have said anything good about this mockery of an attempt of a show. THIS IS THE WORST SHOW I HAVE EVER SEEN! AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL. GIVE UP NOW. If this carries on then the theatre is really dead. - 217.207.114.210) | 26 Oct 05 |
| This spectacular production is superb! 2 hours of comedy, fun, magic, live ducks and catchy songs! How can you not love it?!?! I took my family along with me - the age span of 7-70! A great time was had by all - not just a show for children and not just a show for adults. I suggest you book your tickets now. It's perfect for an Xmas treat. - 86.137.117.247) | 25 Oct 05 |
| The future of the West End needs this show! How different can you get?? If the West End doesn't support shows like this we can all settle down to a diet of revivals, US sitcom stars, Shakespeare or worthy transfers from the subsidizied sector. KIDS WILL LOVE IT!!!! GO SEE IT!!! - 213.210.12.64) | 25 Oct 05 |
| I'm on the side of those who loved it. What's so wrong with a piece that you can laugh at for being silly? Fine, the plot is thin but the performances are good, loved the giant duck and will be going again. I felt they pulled it off and a couple of the magic tricks were impressive! it's wonderful for what it is and there's plenty of good serious plays around at the moment if that's what you want. Ducktastic is there for a good fun night and the adorable badly behaved ducks. - 213.122.29.41) | 25 Oct 05 |
| DUCKTASTIC - FANTASTIC! It's tacky but funny; corny yet surreal; packed full of old jokes but original. You're in the mesmeric hands of masters of their craft. The show may get slicker as it beds in - that may not be a good thing. You'll never look at a duck the same way again! - 213.208.112.227) | 21 Oct 05 |
| This production cost £1.5 million. I learnt this after I sat through this utter utter rubbish. It was obvious that there had been a lot of money spent on it but what they had not spent any money or even, it seems, time doing was creating a script that deserved to be in the west end. It's perhaps a sad fact of the west end that such a shoddy, rushed and painful script can get the funding it got. I emerged from the theatre angry and disappointed. Someone mentioned that it is just a bit of fun and if you go along not expecting much you will enjoy yourself...what kind of a reason to go to the theatre and spend £49 on a ticket is that?! The jokes were so bad they were agony...and there really was no irony there, no matter how you try and explain it away as it being a spoof you cannot excuse the awful plot and horrendous jokes. I was told they were a good double act which is also rubbish - neither of them responded to each other, in fact they were practically fighting for the attention - not fun to watch. They rattled their way through the gags and quite often didn't even wait to see if they would be funny as they were clearly embarrassed by them! The slapstick was obvious and tired and poorly performed and I really have seen hundreds of fringe shows far far better than this...give 100 fringe shows £15000 to do a big budget fringe and you will get way more for your money! Awful awful awful. Self-indulgent 'ooh aren't wefunny and silly' excuse for a 'comedy'. And whoever wrote the music needs a good talking to aswell. Angry? Me? Actually the only positive thing I can say is the ducks were fantastic and it should have been a whole show of ducks because they atleast would have kept me entertained throughout and would have prevented my eyes and ears from bleeding. Still angry and saw it a week ago. There should be a 'Ducktastic' anger management help group for people who saw it. I think I would benefit. I'm going to stop writing now. - 158.180.64.10) | 21 Oct 05 |
| There is nothing I loathe more than a boring night in the theatre. And a night with Ducktastic is nothing like a boring night in the theatre. Classic slapstick is Sean Foley and Hamish McColl’s forte, and Ducktastic is surely their purest exploration. Last seen in the West End with their Olivier and Tony award winning smash tribute to Morecambe and Wise, The Play What I Wrote, McColl and Foley have teamed again with Kenneth Branagh’s direction, and (dare I say it? “Dare! Dare!”) are back. And fervently so. But this time there are no mystery celebrity guests as draw cards. This time it’s ducks. Ducktastic’s spoof style is affectionately blunt; McColl and Foley ply generations of “how did he DO that?” audience gullibility under the austere guise of a Las Vegas magic show. The tale of a magician desperately wooing a past love and a duck in possession of varying degrees of loose-cannon magic provides the simple, but simply apt, wrapping for a glorious tribute to (read ‘send up of’) 1980s magicians. But while Siegfried and Roy manipulated twenty Bengal Tigers “Christophe Ursula Sassoon and Roy de la Rue” boast a single, white Indian runner duck – Daphne - who weaves her magic delightfully irrespective of the magician’s requests. Sassoon’s plight is aided by audience participator Roy, the pet shop owner from Portsmouth and Tina the usher. In a further tribute to crass entertainment bad-musical-style songs punctuate Ducktastic, culminating in the painfully simple finale “Duck knows! (Quack Quack)” that had the audience humming all the way back to Leicester Square. Yet, whilst providing the subject of their send up, cleverly constructed illusion is employed throughout Ducktastic. The staging is meticulous, the lighting is only carefully illuminating and McColl and Foley’s audience diversion tactics are superbly implemented. So much so that Daphne’s magic wielded sincere audience incredulity. That Foley and McColl met in “Clown School” is easy to believe; Ducktastic is filled with well-timed physical gags of the old-school persuasion. Their Morecambe and Wise adulatory traces the dialogue especially – peppered with an array of quick fire verbal witticisms and not so witticisms. Pronouncing the Albery Theatre as the “All-Berry theatre”, for example, was met with roaring laughter repeatedly: thoroughly exhausted by McColl and Foley. Their gags require little set up, punctuated by the actors’ eager faces and deliberate glances to the audience for the “badoom, boom ching!” effect. “In that hotel, oh what was it, I saw it and now it’s gone again…” “’The Mirage’?” “That’s it!” Sean Foley in particular continues his tribute to Eric Morecambe; his flailing legs and comic asides (“why bother when we’re getting these laughs?”) to the audience firmly establish him as the Eric to McColl’s Ernie-straight man. However, like all plays involving live animals, not only is the human actor upstaged but the audience is immediately absorbed with when the animal is going to defecate. Excrement aside, (none to speak of at the Tuesday preview) Daphne the duck was primarily well behaved and when she wasn’t McColl and Foley embraced it in a wholly alienating fashion. But despite her popularity Daphne’s stage career may well be short lived; the PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) are up in arms against the use of real ducks on stage. Branagh refuses to bow to their demands of mechanical ducks, but has since made promise that the ducks will be retired to a bird sanctuary when the run has ended. Yet, if The Play What I Wrote is anything to go by that will be fourteen months in the West End alone. And if the preview audience response holds fast, Ducktastic sides will be clutched at for a great deal longer. - 193.132.236.2) | 21 Oct 05 |
| I loved this: it's completely silly but it delivers two hours of unashamed joy. Some of the jokes are old enough to bed pensioned off, and the deliberate tackiness and knowingness can get a bit wearing. Nonetheless, the interaction and comic timing of McColl and Foley is delightful, the supporting cast (esp Alex Kelly) are excellent, some of the tricks/illusions are breathtaking, the show frequently looks stunning....and the ducks are adorable. It lacks the poignancy and purpose of Play What I Wrote but it works on its own mad terms. Should do really well over Xmas. - 195.82.123.181) | 21 Oct 05 |
| As a fan of McColl and Foley, I saw this in Newcastle and saw it again in London on Tuesday night and the production has come a long way. In Newcastle it didn't really know what it was or where it was going and I feared it may not cut it in the West End. My fears were put to bed on Tuesday in a hilarious 90 minutes of theatre. The transition is evident, the evolution of the material highly apparent and the sheer hilarity of the product undeniable. Groan-inducing christmas cracker type jokes, camp costumes and some impressive illusions amongst the more obvious and simple ones. Whatever anyone says you cannot deny a packed house (900-plus people) laughing and clapping constantly throughout. Yes, there were a couple of seats empty in the second act but that happens in every show. It is certainly the vast majority that had a thoroughly enjoyable evening. It's about time there was a show in London that is just very silly and fun. Don't go expecting Shakespeare or Chekov, in fact don't go expecting anything but to exercise your laughing gear. I commend the entire company on a highly enjoyable night and urge anyone to go along and get drunk on laughter!!! A great idea for an office party. I'll be suggesting it to my colleagues for sure come Christmas. - 82.111.128.3) | 20 Oct 05 |
| A fantastically enjoyable romp! I loved everything from the over the top music to the sickly piurples and lighting! I want a duck! - 86.129.106.136) | 20 Oct 05 |
| What a terrible show! Puerile jokes, rubbish set, non-existent storyline. Had I paid the outrageous £49 for a seat I would've surely asked for my money back, but being part of the audience preview makes me wonder how long it will ast once the critics tear this spoof-farce that actually delivers neither apart. - 62.140.213.2) | 20 Oct 05 |
| 'Ducktastic' bordered between being occassionally hilarious and toe-curlingly embarrassing. It's effectively a pantomime with muscial-type production values. The fact that the cast were obviously having a ball helped sell the show to most of the audience, though it was impossible not to ignore several bouts of collective audience groaning during the show. Some of the dialogue did give the impression of something a bunch of sozzled students might conjure up omn the back of a beer mat - but then I think that could well have been the whole premise of this show as nothing about it was meant to be taken seriously. I wonder what Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, sitting about 10 rows ahead of me on Tuesday night, made of it. It's best to go in with an open mind but I was ultimately left feeling that this show was akin to one of those Hollywood spoof movies that falls flat on its face far too often to leave its genuinely funny moments resonating. - 193.120.73.154) | 20 Oct 05 |
| I loved it! It is silly - but what else do you expect from these guys??? If you want something serious - go see a Shakespeare. - 212.158.229.242) | 20 Oct 05 |
| I saw a preview which went up 15 minutes late without an apology to the audience which was a very bad start. Also, at 1 hour 55 minutes including an interval, I wondered why they did not ditch the interval and cut it to 90 minutes (easily possible in view of the overlong script). All that said, the Right Size are, as always, very funny indeed. The problem is that the script is weak and the other peformers are not in their league. However, I laughed a lot. - 80.177.231.164) | 20 Oct 05 |
| If you are an 'long time' fan of the Right Size (pre- Show What I Wrote), then this will resemble earlier work to you (Do You Come Here Often, Stop Calling me Vernon). If you only got into them via the Eric n Ern thing, avoid it, you will not enjoy it. I am an 'old time' fan, so was pleased to see some of the madcap, (yeah childish) comedy that came with those earlier shows. Not as good as those earlier shows, but you'll see glimpses. These are probably the jokes thew threw out on the first two! You'll laugh & you'll groan, and the repetative stuff is MEANT to be corny. You'll get a few laughs, but even as a old fan of the boys, I cringed at the ending, which is VERY weak. I actually assumed it was a false ending! A road towards the classic stuff agin, but still a way to go to match 'Often' & 'vernon' they should have just brought one of those back - LOVE to see them again. - 85.210.34.253) | 19 Oct 05 |
| I wonder if the people who awarded 5 stars are the families and friends of the cast? I can't believe they saw the same purile rubbish as my mum and I sat through. Utter rubbish, poor jokes, poor live ducks, ridiculous. - 62.254.64.17) | 19 Oct 05 |
| No words of comdemnation can express my comtempt for this excuse for a play. This could only be enjoyed by those on acid, and even then at a push. I have rarely seen anything so badly thought through. If you liked it i suggest that you nip down to your local primary school for a rich vain of this level of theatre around christmas. - 217.207.114.210) | 19 Oct 05 |
| Its daft - as you'd expect mixing Vegas and live ducks but it has more laughs than the rest of the West End put together. Very funny entertainment - nothing more. - 81.152.156.134) | 19 Oct 05 |
| Oh dear! Shitetastic! would be more appropriate. Saw a better production at my kid's school play last summer! Don't be fooled by their previous work. This one stinks!! And why a duck? - and why such contrived situations with planted 'members of the audience?' - 84.12.179.227) | 18 Oct 05 |
| total crap. excrutiating. sat near kenneth branagh who started out laughing but looked black-faced by the end. only one member of the cast could sing, the illusions were rubbish and the use of the ducks entirely gratuitous. animatronic models would have been fine, except then the production wouldn't have got the pr it did. - 217.40.180.238) | 18 Oct 05 |
| Absolutely ghastly. It was excruciatingly embarrassing and the worst production I think I have ever seen. My friend left in the interval as friends did the next evening. - 81.170.4.212) | 16 Oct 05 |
| What a load of total rubbish, stupid from start to finish, go and see Chicago and get your monies worth. - 62.254.64.17) | 16 Oct 05 |
| I thought it was fantastic, yeah there will be people who will hate it. Its like Marmite you either hate it or you love it, Pure sillyness which makes it so good. Go with an open mind not knowing what to expect, it's not supposed to be serious its fun, see it for what it is don't hype it up to be something it's not. Go, Laugh and have lots and lots of fun! I saw it last night and yeah at time's the actors don't know what they are meant to be doing and the stage moving needs work but it all added to the enjoyment. Definetly reccomend! - 81.144.251.46) | 14 Oct 05 |
| If i could put zero stars in I would. Some half decent jokes, otherwise uniformly poor. The effects were quite good, but the script is so bad i had to leave at the interval - 66.9.194.250) | 13 Oct 05 |
| I absolutley loved it. Sure, it has lame jokes and the occasional hitch, but the special effects were slick and the play was great fun. Noone, not even the actors, take it seriously and it's so easy to get swept up in it. Great fun. I think it's one of those plays that you either absolutely love or really hate. Quite a lot of people left at the interval, but the applause at the end was tremendous. I think that just about says it all! - 82.108.37.114) | 12 Oct 05 |
| Saw it on it's last night in Newcastle. It was terrible. Very lame jokes and embarrassing innuendo. Not quite sure what the duck thing was all about...wouldn't waste your money or time. - 84.66.220.181) | 21 Sep 05 |
| Saw this on 8 Sept,the production appears amateurish, stupid jokes, bad script, ridiculous plot. - 62.254.64.17) | 10 Sep 05 |
| Watched this last night 8/9/05 at Newcastle, flat predictable jokes, poor script, loud unecessary pyrotechnics whilst a poor live duck was on stage. Worst thing I have ever wasted an evening watching. - 62.254.64.17) | 09 Sep 05 |
| Well, My wife and myself saw the 2nd September show (remember this is the first performance) and yes there were some highs and lows - but what do you expect?. It will be ironed out and I think that it will get better and will be a great success. We were actually sat next to a couple who left at the interval - strange that they laughted through the first half. I saw "The play what I wrote" at Darlington when it started touring after being huge in the West End - and for the first 20 mins I thought it was as funny as a gumboil, so give Ducktastic! a chance to bed in - after all what do you do with 40 ducks on the dole? - 80.229.46.140) | 06 Sep 05 |
| Saw this at the Newcastle preview. The script had its highs and lows, with many jokes falling very flat. At times it seemed like an amateur school play. Many of the jokes relied on innuendo and were fairly weak. The funniest parts were the ad-lib sections. The second half seemed better rehersed than the first, so if Terry really did see the play, then he missed the best bit. I didn't see anyone leave at the interval. I put the weak script, poor acting and feeble jokes down to first night run through. Perhaps after a few more performances they will have got rid of the rubbish and enhanced the funny bits. Couldn't really recommend as it stands. (comments based on Friday 2nd September show at Newcastle Theatre Royal). - 12.2.142.7) | 05 Sep 05 |
| One of the worst productions I have ever seen. Pathetic, puerile plot and script. Left at the interval, as did many others. Do yourself a favour and don't go...life is just too short! - 82.39.148.219) | 03 Sep 05 |
