Lord help us... Lord Lloyd Webber help us... Joseph has thrown on his depreciatingly less "amazing" technicolor jacket once again and gone a-preaching on another UK tour, this time with "H from Steps" (born Ian Watkins and brutally forced by the pop machine to change his name to something much more irritating) in the most famous loincloth in theatre.
As Joseph's brother betrayed him for silver coins, the producers of this once kitsch and endearing show are selling audiences short. Its design and its choreography make it feel like a Biblical Butlins, embarrassingly dated and amateurish by the standard of most touring productions.
Though often singing lyrics as questionable as the Bible's recommendations on who to stone, the cast are on the whole good, with narrator Jennifer Potts singing sweetly against a loud ensemble. Although "H" looks the part as Joseph and meets the comedy of this family show well, his vocals aren't quite as golden as his hair. As a consequence, show stopping moments like "Close Every Door" feel under-inflated, lacking the presence or posture which the show needs.
Go back to the Good Book, Bill. Joseph sorely needs some new clobber. The design and style of this production dates from a time when Philip Schofield still had colour in his hair. And now, like Schofe himself, the current tour of Joseph's Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is fastly fading to monochrome.