Various thoughts were whirling through my head as I kerchinked to Evil Tesco this morning laden with a heavy bag of glass items (mainly wine bottles) for recycling. 1) I hope people don't think I'm some kind of lush or wino - I didn't drink all this wine by myself (most of it, but not all). 2) Why is it so hard to recycle glass in Edinburgh? The council collects every known recyclable material from people's doorsteps - except glass. 3) I deserve some kind of award for doing my duty to the planet.

Can You Dig It? has yet to get an award, despite the fact we are the best vegetable cultivation-based musical comedy show ever, so I have decided to create one and award it to us. I am therefore delighted to announced that we are the proud winners of an Environmental Comedy Award for being the greenest show at the Edinburgh Fringe. Here are the reasons we won:

1) We have created the first 100 per cent compostable flyer. Our flyers are printed on recycled paper with biodegradable, vegetable-based inks and we are actively encouraging fringe-goers to compost them to improve their soil (once they have read them, thought 'hmm, this looks good', and bought tickets).

2) Our set is entirely made up of recycled or borrowed objects and materials thus reducing our carbon footprint in some way that is too complicated to explain.

3) Our set features alive plants and trees, which we water and tend to every day with love, so we're actually spreading oxygen and defeating carbon, or whatever it is plants do.

4) We make instruments out of vegetables for our show and have been assiduously composting all waste vegetal matter, actively contributing to the "Circle of Life", as Elton John would put it.

5) Dan Woods and I walk and cycle everywhere (except when I am tired and need to get a taxi).

As you can see, we richly deserve this award. If you know of a greener show then do let me know. However, I must add that the judge's decision is final and we have definitely won.