I was once persuaded to do a photocall on the Royal Mile dressed as a giant wedge of cheese. I agreed to do it only if I got to make the costume myself (I’m a lifelong crafter), but like most things in my life it turned out to be much, much harder than I thought. The cheese suit took me and my girlfriend eight hours, three rolls of fun foam, two rows and one tearful episode to make.
Despite the adversity I was actually feeling quite chipper when I got out on the streets - I had a plate of cheese and pineapple sticks that I was going to hand out, and I had even thought of a joke I could do - when the punter took at bite of the cheese I would scream “ow!”
The day came, the rain peed down, the photographers stayed away and the police told me it was illegal to hand out food to the public.
I had nowhere to leave the plate. Every so often some kind soul would venture out from under a shop awning, approach me and ask for a canape and I had to refuse them.
Still it could have been worse. I had made the costume pointy end up, thus forming a natural roof for the rain to run off. The other way up would’ve been a complete disaster...
Sarah Campbell's 30 minute show, 27 Up can be seen at Laughing Horse @ The Hive, 5-28 August at 19.40
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