Hardeep Singh Kohli On Edinburgh’s Strictly Balanced Diet

Debauched. It’s a funny word. It’s as if you’ve had the bauch removed from you. “I used to be terribly bauched but luckily I managed to get debauched so let’s party!” Into the first weekend of Edinburgh in August my bauch seems like a dim and distant memory, a space where there was once an abundance of, well, bauch.

Maturity (old age) has taught me the mode of management over the art of abstinence. Accept that the festival will be the realisation of Wilde’s notion of “everything in moderation, except moderation” and attempt, where possible to manage the indulgence. Hedonism but with a small “h”.

Since my show involves cooking a curry every night through the medium of a chat show, the notion of food is central to my entire Festival experience. I, more than most, am aware of the benefits of a healthy diet in and amongst the endless pints of Deuchars and that one last vodka-tonic before the inexorable rise of another East Coast sun.

My allowance for clean living involves my first pre-preview visit to Morningside and its Waitrose. (Where else would Edinburgh house it’s Waitrose: the only neighbourhood that has more balsamic vinegar outside the supermarket than inside). I eschew the sugary, e-numbered delights and stock my medium sized trolley with fresh fruit, leafy greens, lentils and porridge. I carefully plan meals and menus for the oncoming ten days, trying best to balance protein with slow release carbohydrate products and roughage whevever possible. I then bring all the produce back to my temporary Edinburgh abode and place it respectfully in cupboards and fridges. Here it will sit utterly unmolested while I gorge on frankfurters and deep-fried food. But at least the thought was there…