Rita: Ready Or Not?

Hello. Hi. Welcome fellow fringers, to my first ever blog entry for Whats On Stage. I am most excited to start blogging. And thats saying something as I’m not an exciteable person. I’m Rita, Rita Trump and I’m off to the land of kilts and tartan to perform my two hander stand up comedy show ‘Rita Trump and Julie Jones: Screw Loose Women with the Laughing Horse Free Festival at Edinburgh City Football Club from 5:35 -6:35, 8th – 27th (special guest Cara Cummings in replace of Julie Jones 8th – 12th). Ok, Plug over. I promise not to plug my show again. My blogs will solely be expressing my Edinburgh Experience hence forth, I promise.

It is my first Edinburgh Fringe and so this year, although not religious, will be my ‘Baptism of Fire’ so to speak. Presently, I am feeling a huge sense of the unknown. But as my dear friend Franklin Roosevelt once said, ‘There is nothing to fear but fear itself’. These words never did ring so true. However I figure losing my Edinburgh Fringe Virginity is a bit like losing any other types of virginities (and i’ve lost my virginity a number of times). By this I mean that the first time does hurt, but the more times you do it the more you enjoy it. The first cut really is the deepest (sung Rod Stewart in 1976 and later again, Cat Stevens in 2008).

People keep asking me if I’m ready. And I say to them, ‘Ready? I was born ready!’ But this is just bravado. Believe you me I can talk the talk but can I walk the walk? I dont feel ready. I do realise that one of the main reasons I do not ‘feel ready’ is largely due to the fact that I havent bought all of my toiletries from Boots…..or had my monthly full leg and bikini wax. Oh yes…and obviously I have a few bits of admin to do like e mail my Edinburgh Preview Reviews to proper important press people and sort out my music rights. I’m sure this will all be sorted come Wednesday afternoon when I pop on my aeroplane to ‘burgh, as so many of my arty farty friends are now referring to it as. Personally, I prefer to call it Ed. I always like men called Ed,………. Milliband is the exception, obviously.

But to say I’m not experiencing a little trepidation at the prospect of potentially performing every night to a maximum of five people would be an understatement. I must stress though, I’m not scared; I’m merely, slightly, a little…… petrified, thats all. I’m sure it’ll all be a walk in the park really (and I’ve heard there’s lots of nice parks in Ed, sorry ‘burgh). And besides, I should fit in nicely at Edinburgh Fringe, firstly I love Haggis and secondly…. I’ve got a fringe! Its in my blood. I’ve also got my mates Julie Jones and Cara Cummings, (2 other comics in my show) to keep me on the straight and narrow (I have been known to go curvy and wide if I eat too many carbs). So bring it on I say, Rita is ready to embrace the biggest arts festival in the world (after she has bought all her toiletries from Boots ofcourse) with open arms. Infact I’m going to give it a massive snog! I’m very tactile dont you know.

So thats my first blog. Stay tuned for my next blog apres arrival dans le Edinburgh (for my French fans, a French translation is also available just click on the link), and follow Rita Trumps’ Edinburgh Adventure!

In the next Blog: Rita attends the Edinburgh Festival LAUNCH party. Find out how she gets on in Blog Numero Dos….coming soon!