Just curious as to what other theatregoers think about going to the theatre on their own? Are you happy to do it or do you feel self-conscious? Are there certain kinds of shows that, in your opinion, are more "acceptable" to go alone to than others?

Personally, I love having theatre buddies but if I want to see a show and can't find anyone to go with I'm happy to go alone. A friend recently told me he went to his local regional theatre alone for a production he was particularly keen to see, whereupon he thought he heard a woman behind him whisper to her friend: "D'you think he's been stood up?"

I'm quite happy to go on my own, and usually do. A companion to have a conversation about it with after is an added bonus on those occasions when it's possible, but I'm not about to stay at home for the lack of that. If people have got nothing better to do than speculate about my love life, then good luck to them!

I almost always go on my own because hardly anyone I know who lives near me is interested in theatre at all. Most of those I know who are interested in theatre are also involved in it.

There's one thing that always bugs me about being on my own. If I'm sitting near the end of a row or near an aisle then I wait until shortly before the curtain goes up before taking my seat so other people don't have to squeeze past me to reach their own seats. More often than not the people around my seat, seeing a single empty seat, will assume it's unsold and by the time I arrive it'll be piled high with coats and shopping.

I really don't like going on my own- I love to share the experience with someone. I don't feel self-conscious so much on my own, but bored without someone to discuss what we're seeing with. I'll only go on my own if I can't get to the show another time with company, or else I'm feeling miserable and just want to get away from everything for a while!

I usually go on my own - most of my friends aren't musical theatre fans, so I'm not likely to find an Accompanying Person for anything I want to see. It used to be the case that I wouldn't go alone on a Friday or Saturday night, but I got over that ... There are some shows I wouldn't want to see on my own, viz. any jukebox musical that has lots of audience participation - the first time I saw 'We Will Rock You' I was alone, which was just kind of weird.



But that's what I use this board for! :-)

I am personally perfectly happy to go on my own as I know that I want to go more and see more things than any of my theatre going friends. I agree that it is nice to go with someone else to have a conversation with on the way home, but with a choice of going on my own or not going at all I would choose going on my own every time. Oh and I wouldn't feel self concious at all - I'm there to hopefully enjoy the show!!

I don't enjoy going on my own, but there is no one i can go with.

So, i am quite looking forward to the 28th of February, and i wish we can do that more often, and sooner.

I quite enjoy the theatre or cinema on my own. You're sat in the dark watching a piece of passive entertainment (barring the joining in of jukebox musicals as already mentioned), why do you need company? You can leave more easily if it's rubbish and availibility for single seats is normally fab at the last minute.

I'd always rather go with someone, but as has been said, often people won't be interested, or if something is only doing a short run, those who might be interested aren't available. I have no qualms about going on my own, though I probably wouldn't travel far (a 2 hour+ late night train back on my own would put me off).

Once I got a seat that was clearly in the area reserved for any potential wheelchair users and their carers- I was in the carer seat, with no other seats for about 5m in any direction (there were no wheelchair users in). That was odd- I felt a little self conscious at first, but soon settled into the benefits of the legroom.

I have to go on my own. Even if I had a whole platoon of theatre-going friends, I'd still find it VERY difficult to always have someone to go with me. I started keeping a scrapbook back in 2006 of everything I saw at the theatre. If I only saw shows with other people, then since then I'd only have seen: 'Wicked', 'Avenue Q', 'The Woman in Black', 'Equus', 'The Tempest', 'Mary Poppins', 'The Lord of the Rings', 'Blood Brothers', 'The 39 Steps', 'The Masque of the Red Death', 'Henry V', 'La Cage aux Folles', 'The Vortex', 'Merrily We Roll Along', 'Fat Pig', and 'Sunset Boulevard'. I know that list is far more than the average Guardian reader sees in a year, but it is but a mere fraction of everything I've seen. At least I wouldn't have missed out on 'Henry V', and I do now have a friend who is very amenable to theatre-going, but really; I'd've missed out on SO DAMN MUCH if I were shy about going to the theatre alone. I wouldn't even have gone to New York in March 2007. I'm very thankful for this wilful streak of independence that runs through me; my theatre acrapbook would look very sad without it.

If I'm booking tickets in advance, I always get 2, one for myself and one for my husband. If he can't come, I'll ask a friend. The only exception would be for musicals, which he can't stand. But I only see around 10 musicals a year these days.

If it's a last minute thing, I often go on my own.

If you're a 20-something girl sitting on your own, people feel the need to talk to you. Sometimes that's ok. I've met a few interesting people that way. They were usually on their own, as well. Most often, though, it's an annoyance. I hate having to make small talk with strangers, whether it's a lonely middle-aged guy or a teenage girl bragging about how many times she's seen the show. I'm not socially inept. I just don't like the idea that a girl on her own somehow equals an invitation for a chat. It almost never happens when I'm with someone else.

I rarely get small talk. I think it's because I usually have my head buried in my book or my programme, although I'm open to the possibility that I just emit waves. But I actually welcome small talk when I get it; it's so rare I actually get to talk theatre with someone face-to-face that I'm usually genuinely interested in what they have to say! Liiike... the man at 'Kiss of the Spider Woman' who talked 'Bent' with me, or the lady at 'Fiddler on the Roof' who told me all about the Mendes 'Cabaret', and that LOVELY lady at the RSC Open Day who sat and fangirled the Histories Cycle with me. Never under-estimate the effect you have on someone by actually understanding what it is they're talking about. :3

I go on my own more often than not. I have a friend who will go to Guildford with me but I know she likes the more light-hearted stuff but although she loves an evening out I know she'd find some stuff I like heavy-going and it's not very fair to ask someone to pay a lot of money just to be a companion.
I'm happy to chat to people in the interval and have had some very interesting discussions. Being middle-aged I don't have to worry about men chatting me up! I used to feel a bit self-conscious eating or drinking alone but decided a few years back that life's too short to worry what other people think and why the hell should I miss out on doing stuff I want to!
(I'm married to a Phillistine who has been to the theatre with me approximately once in the last twenty years!)

Pretty much all of my friends are very into musical theatre so I don't think I've ever gone to a show by myself. I've sat by myself at a show about 5/6 times, but I've always met my friends in the interval, and usually it's because it's a sort of group trip but everyone just has random seats. I really like chatting to people in the audience in the interval, but only towards the end. I find it really awkward when someone starts talking to me and 10 minutes into the interval we've run out of stuff to say, that's another awkward 10 minutes left!

I end up going on my own around half the time at the theatre - but I never feel self-concious and always seem to end up talking to people around me.

However when I am alone in a cinema I DO feel "alone" and rarely exchange a word with anyone. Theatre is a more social place I feel!

I like to go to the theatre in company, because it is nice to share the experience, and sometimes very differing perceptions, for good or ill. But I don't mind going on my own either, although it can be a tiny bit uncomfortable on occasion. I might be too thin skinned, but there is quite often some small perception that it is seen as a bit odd that one should be on one's own. But you chat at whoever, and you can actually even see perceptions change, and it's fine. And even when with someone, I will always idly chat to staff and/or anyone who looks friendly anyway. So when on my own, I will happily do the same thing. And when seated, I will chat at whoever I happen to be sitting next to. One or other, or both, will invariably be terribly nice and will chat back. But very occasionally you get stuck between people who don't just want to keep themselves to themselves, which you respect, but who actively seem to think it is some sort of crime to speak to anyone you don't know. And then it can be a bit tiresome. It is not the norm, though, but if that had been a first experience, I probably wouldn't ever have tried again.

And I have to also specifically say that there have been occasions when I would much rather have gone on my own, than have had to put up with moaning, complaining or generally ungracious other/s.

Can I take it that I can now add your name in the "has ticket" column of my file for Feb 28?

LOL, I do just that (have my nose down a book) for the specific purpose of not being approached by someone trying to chat me up. I wouldn't mind a bit of a conversation about something connected to the play that I'm seeing and would usually welcome that, but more often than not that doesn't seem to be what people (read men) approaching me in the theatre are interested in, so I'd rather send out the vibe "busy - don't disturb".

[
If you're a 20-something girl sitting on your own, people feel the need to talk to you. Sometimes that's ok. I've met a few interesting people that way. They were usually on their own, as well. Most often, though, it's an annoyance. I hate having to make small talk with strangers, whether it's a lonely middle-aged guy or a teenage girl bragging about how many times she's seen the show. I'm not socially inept. I just don't like the idea that a girl on her own somehow equals an invitation for a chat. It almost never happens when I'm with someone else.
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Really? It's a rarity if i'm at the theatre not on my own and I'm a in my 20s girl and people rarely talk to me, although I'm the sort of person people never seem to sit next to on the bus either so maybe I give out bad vibes. Like Annasette i've come across those people who are clearly horrified that someone they don't know is talking to them, they tend to give brief replies and then firmly start talking to someone on the other side. On a few occasions however I've struck up great conversations with people and it's really added to the whole theatre experience, little old ladies quite often seem to take pity on me and have even offered my ice cream in the interval!

I usually go with family or larger groups, but often on my own too. In truth, that's what I prefer - although I can't really tell you why.

What bugs me most when I'm on my own is that neighbouring loners tend to ask to borrow my programme. What do I do? Say no and invite contempt, or say yes and fume that they're too mean to buy their own?

Job

My theatre going is generally divided into 'what I see for work' and 'what I choose to see'. The former often involves going on my own, or with people with whom I have a work connection. Quite often on my own though and I don't object to that at all... If I don't feel in the mood to make small talk, then I will sit with my head buried in my programme at the interval and avoid eye contact. Or if I feel chatty, I will make small talk with people which tends to happen quite easily... not least because a lot of the stuff I see for work is fringe/drama school productions where people seem to be much more sociable than in the WE!

What I choose to see tends to be with other people more... but still occasionally on my own also if I find myself with a free evening in London and decide to chance my luck on some cheap last minute tickets. I suppose it probably comes down to the fact that the stuff I plan and book to see in advance will generally be with someone else, but the impromptu decisions will be on my own.

Though I have no issue going to the theatre on my own, I'd feel very uncomfortable going to the cinema on my own. I don't think I've ever done it...

The only time I don't like being at the theatre as a billy no mates is during panto... again, work dictates I probably see an average of 8-10 pantos a year (God help me...) and I am yet to work out if I am more of a loser by sitting on my own and NOT joining in with all the silly audience participation, or sitting on my own and getting very carried away with everyone else. I tend not to join in but I'm not sure if that really is the better option...

Almost always on my own. My partner used to come to about 30% of it but that's tailed off a bit now. She should come to more, I often leave a theatre thinking she'd have loved the production. But while it's obviously nice her being there, I also don't mind going on my own. I recently spent a week at the Edinburgh Fringe seeing 26 productions solo - missed home, missed the Mrs, but still thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Ditto films - just applied for a load of screenings at the LFF, all bar one of which will be solo.

Yes, I've heard friends say there seems to be a law of the universe which states that a young woman on her own must be in need of male conversation.

This made me chuckle:


"The average Guardian reader" - that's a very specific benchmark!

It's based on the hilarity of their advertising. In the G2, they sometimes say "The average Guardian reader goes to the theatre 3 times a year". I *think* it's supposed to imply "multiply that 3 by the 351,031 circulation, and that's a heck of a lot of theatre tickets for the selling, therefore you theatre producers should totally pimp your wares through us". But what it actually does is make me giggle, 'cos I can (and do, when it's possible) go to the theatre three times a DAY. XD

Ergo, the average Guardian reader is a n00b and an amateur!

Just spotted your from Bath too, and wanted to say hii from another bathonian!

I haven't ever been by myself but will be for the first time next week when I go see Wicked by myself. I'm actually a little scared that I won't enjoy it as much, I love having someone in the interval to talk to about the show.. I'll probably be going by myself a lot more now, I have a lot of friends who love theatre; musical theatre in particular but many of them can't afford the tickets anymore.

I quite often go to the theatre on my own. Yet, sadly, as a thirtysomething male, I've never been chatted up whilst doing so . An old lady did offer me an Uncle Joe's Mintball at My Fair Lady once though

Whether I go by myself or with company all depends on what I'm seeing. If I want to see something that nobody else wants to see, then I'm not going to sit at home wishing I was there. I'll just go alone and I've never felt self-concious yet.

Interesting - most in one day. I could offer one day during my Fringe visit when I saw 7, outside of that it probably would be three. In the spring, I went to two of the Shoot/Get Treasure/Repeat cycles in the morning, which was 5 shorts, then the 3 Glaspell shorts at the Orange Tree in the afternoon, then an evening show. Blurring over the fact that 8 of those were wrapped up in (essentially) two productions, I did puff my chest out and grandly tell people I'd seen 9 in one day.

I always laugh at those pull-out review quotes in posters etc that breathlessly say things like "If you're only going to read one book/see one film/play this year, make it this one." The thought of these people who do all those things once a year. I like to think of their having it in their diaries - "29 Oct, see annual film"

Ah, see, I haven't done the Fringe yet. I'm thinking about going next year. But my current best is still the Histories Cycle (and even if I manage to ascend the giddy heights to 5, 7, or 9 productions in a day, I bet they won't all be the same top quality of a whole day of non-stop 'Henry IV'/'Henry V' action ).

It is a very bizarre pull-quote to have; but then, I never understood people who don't read for pleasure. There's such a wide array of books out there that surely everyone can find at least SOMETHING to kill a couple of hours with. And one film? One theatre trip? I'm dizzy just contemplating it, and I don't even go to the cinema anywhere near as much as I did before I found theatre. O_O

And hi fellow Bathonian! *waves back* I'm not geographically there anymore, but it's still my adopted hometown in my heart. Did you see the cat in the news? I used to live right opposite his shrine, and have a lot of fond memories of him to boot. It's VERY touching to see how much so many people cared for him. :3

I hardly ever go on my own, maybe 1 time in 30, and then to only my very local theatres. I find that the enjoyment of both very good and very bad productions is enhanced if you are there with someone of near-identical tastes to yourself. Having said that, going on my own doesn't bother me at all or make me feel awkward - better than going with somone who did not enjoy what you did, and vice versa, I imagine.

My next two theatre trips will be alone and whilst I do enjoy chatting to friends about the show I have just seen I hate to be responsible for whether the person next to me enjoys the show as much as I do.
I sometimes feel self conscious during the interval but tend to read the programme from cover to cover.
My local theatre has a "friends of the theatre" meet the cast buffet where I feel, as I am alone, I can chat to anyone - if I recognise them from their programme biog pic.
Also, at jukebox musicals, as no one knows me I am able to make a fool of myself without any huffing and puffing from my partner!

I've been going to the theatre on my own since I was 14 or 15, the cinema on my own from even earlier.
I really enjoy it. I don't have to worry about wether the person i'm with is enjoying it or if they're bored. I've also been lucky enough to meet some fantastic people. People seem less threatened by you when you're on your own (generally anyway) and I definitely feel less inhibited. I'm normally a very shy, self conscious person but the fact that i'm unlikely to see most people I meet at the theatre again makes a great deal of difference. I certainly join in more when i'm on my own (when it's appropriate of course).
I'm lucky enough to have family who are big into theatre and I've made some great friends at uni who have similar tastes to me when it comes to theatre so I do have that option but I would still choose to go on my own more often then not.

I go on my own more often than not. I used to feel self-conscious, but it doesn't bother me much anymore. I'd rather go on my own than miss out on something I really want to see.

There is also the logistics of arranging to go with others; agreeing on dates/times/ticket prices etc, and then worrying if they have really liked it. I find it's just as easy to say "S*d it! I'll go on my own!"

Does anyone sometimes get looked at askance by other audience members because you're alone? Or is that just my own paranoia?

Being the miserable so and so that I am, I almost always prefer going on my own. I have just seen this thread, five minutes after a very good friend asked whether I wanted to see such and such, I basically made excuses for the date they wanted so that I could go on my own! I have so often found that my enjoyment or the opposite has been hindered by my companions having a different response to my own and me feeling obliged to temper my own response. That having been said I do enjoy discussing performances with friends who have seen the same thing, but this doesn't involve sitting next to someone and being concerned about their reactions.

Blimey! Perhaps my argumentative streak is stronger than I thought, but I would much rather see a show with someone who had a contrasting view point to me than someone I agreed with!

I can see that, perhaps, if you have persuaded someone to part with money to come and see something with you, you don't want them to dislike it and feel they wasted their money, but really I'd much rather spend my interval arguing than just agreeing with someone

It's definitely just paranoia. The only time I've received any particular interest for being a solo theatre-goer was when a nice couple asked if I'd mind awfully switching seats with a third person so that the three of them could sit together, and I didn't mind at all. XD

I like the way Trev thinks! Inviting other people opens a whole can of worms that can get terrible, especially if someone feels left out, or people change their mind about going, or anything that puts a spanner in the works. Going alone is easier, and it allows me time during and after the performance to gather my thoughts before confronting other people for discussion purposes.

I'm with you all on going alone, the only reason to go with people is to get a group discount.

Have a friend who often moans they wanted to see something I went to but they are always late for everything and
Id rather get looked at for being alone than late.

I will admit to being very surprised by the posters here who worry about being "looked at" for being on their own. I have never, ever, given it a second thought. As mentioned I almost always go on my own, and personally, though I might be intrigued by my fellow audience members, have never judged them on their solitude or otherwise, and am surprised to find that I might be the object of some-ones sympathy! Quite frankly I JUST DON'T CARE.

Hand up as another solitary theatre-goer who prefers it that way. I'm also perfectly happy eating in a restaurant beforehand with just my book for company. Never been chatted up, alas, but I live in hope and I always try to smile winningly at the boys selling the ice cream just in case...
The only time I ever feel self-conscious is if I'm in little towns - I sometimes feel that while London can take a woman sitting by herself without comment, in the provinces there's still a slight whiff of oddness about it. I'd love to be told I'm wrong, however.

I've been solitary in the provinces as well. Used to go to Bath Theatre Royal nearly every week, been to Chichester, going to Stratford. I think it's only weird if you make it weird. And if people make off comments about you, who cares? What's better, seeing a really good show, or missing out on a really good show because no one would come with you? :3

Once in a while I'll invite a friend to see something that turns out to be truly awful. Obviously it's not on purpose, but that's what happens when you book tickets before previews. These friends still haven't forgiven me for inflicting bad theatre on them.

Aw, really? You were on the opposite side from me then, I'm in Bathampton! And I read about Atkinson/Dave/all his other names, it was cute and sad. Where abouts do you live now?

This thread is putting my mind at rest now, it doesn't seem too uncommon going by yourself.

What a bunch of loners we are! Yes, a sole theatregoer too, here. Mostly because Mrs. Sanderling can be very withering if she's dragged to something less than entertaining - whereas, I'll sit through just about anything and then have to see it again if I think it's something she'll like. Don't mind being seen alone.. except if it's something I'm assumed to be a pervert at - I've studiously avoided seeing Billy since I read some comments on here and couldn't help noticing that there were quite a few more single blokes than usual at Cabaret (the nudity?). Haven't chatted anyone up, yet, but do seem to get nobbled in interval conversations by middle-aged women and their friends. All in all, I enjoy it just as much by myself as with friends and agree with the poster who said that it's sometimes easier to get up and bopping that way.

Anyway, next time I see someone sitting alone, I'll assume its a WoSser and say hello!

Frequently go on my own, especially to matinees.

When I go in the evening it is is usually because I have some connection to the cast or crew and I can meet them afterwards for a drink or a meal.
I am not afraid of being looked at - it doesn't usually bother me a jot, as I am such a big showoff anyway.!!

But there have been times when I get the Paddington stare. Why do so many people assume a lady on her own is trying to pull!

If I become really fed up with the looks, I get out my famous neon illuminating pen and start making notes in my little note pad and they assume I am writing about the show.

Hi

I also go to the theatre on my own. My husband passed away 5 years ago and after a couple of years l wanted to find something that l could do on my own, so for the first time l went to the theatre...... the best thing l could ever have done, l loved it. I mainly go to matinees, but if l go to evening performances, l make a weekend of it and stay in a hotel. The most shows was 5 in 3 days.... and l loved it.. running from the matinee to get to the next event. My husband would probably think l'm nuts! but hey.... no good sitting at home feeling sorry for myself!!

I find only buying one ticket has a great advantage, you get great seats, don't have to wait months for tickets if they are sold out as normally they have one seat left!, also eating out in London before/after the theatre is also ok on your own, l felt a bit strange to begin with, but so many people dine on their own now that l don't take any notice.....

I have never been to so many shows in the past couple of years, expensive hobby but so worth it.

Best wishes
Caz

I think the only time I've been "looked at" for being alone was a weekday (evening) performance of Wicked, to which I pitched up after a client meeting so I was in a suit. And killer heels. In the second row. So yeah, I got some looks. (I prefer to think it was because that night I was the Fashionista in the audience, but whatever.)

Normally I've got my nose stuck in the program and don't talk to the people around me, but I'm starting to wonder if I haven't missed out on all kinds of WOS'ers doing so!

I am just as happy on my own as I am with friends or family - the only time I prefer having friends is the 1 hour train ride home!

I go on my own frequently. The first time I was terrifed but actually found I enjoyed it. It all seems so much easier on your own and I like the freedom of being able to see what I want, when I want.
I don't mind being on my own in the theatre, but the 2 hour train journey down to London and killing time in London before the show can get a little lonely.

I've only got chatting to the person next to me once, when I found myself next to an older lady, also on her own. Most often I'm sat next to couples who just talk to each other.
I'm afraid to say that as a 20 year old girl on her own, nobody has taken pity on me/tried to chat me up yet!

The reason why I hate making small talk with strangers is that most people are boring. And I'm very impatient.

I did have one fantastic experience a year ago in New York.

Actually, it was preceeded by an annoying experience. I had left my husband and friends at a bar and went to see a show for the second time that week. I wound up sitting next to a man and his 30-something son. The father actually tried to hook me up with his son during the interval. I felt bad for the son.

When the show ended, I decided to go to the stage door and say hello to someone in the cast that I knew from years ago. I haven't done the stage door thing since my teens, but the weather was nice and I thought, what the hell.

There was a huge crowd of teenage girls pressed up against the barriers around the stage door. I didn't want to be a part of it, so I stood a few meters back. An elderly man asked me who I was waiting for. That led to an hour-long conversation (the actor I was waiting for took his sweet time) about all sorts of things. The man turned out to be a writer. He told me several fascinating stories from his lifetime of theatre-going. The hour flew by. When I got home, I went online and bought his book.

So, if you're a charming 70-something writer and want to share interesting stories about plays from before I was born, please, please do. On the other hand, if you are a 14-year-old girl who wants to brag about seeing the show 147 times, or a creepy man trying to get me to date your son, please talk to someone else.

I must say that I'm encouraged to hear that there are so many of us lone theatre goers out there. Is any other WOS regular planning to see A Doll's House at the Kingston Rose on the 24th? Or any of the RSC's Stratford performances September 25-27? Let me know if you are and would like to meet up.

I've thought about this, and now I think I DO know why. It's having too much damned empathy that does for me. If I'm with my wife, for example, I sit there wondering what she thinks of it, and I find myself focusing on her reaction rather than my own. If we're both having a blast (as we did with Lipsych last Sunday) it's fantastic, but when - as can happen - our responses differ, I find myself caring more about her reaction than about my own. My second visit to Masque of the Red Death was blighted by the fact that Mrs Job wasn't enjoying it - and I didn't need her to take her mask off to prove it.

Job

Yes, there have been times when my partner has disliked it to the extent that she's left at the interval to go off and amuse herself while I stick with it for the 2nd half. When I can sense the waves of dissatisfaction emanating from her, it disrupts my enjoyment of the production (if I am enjoying it, that is).

Agree wth Abby that the solitary pre-theatre meal is also a pleasure. No, I've never noticed that I'm being looked at askance for being on my own. It seems to me that lone women are more prone to that, with various reasons for the looks, as has been touched on.



The Rose is local to me but I haven't been there much, just twice since it opened. Have you been yet? I don't recommend the general admission bring-a-cushion area, cheap though it is, unless your back's up to it. I did consider Doll's, but don't know when I'd see it.