Day -7
August 24, 2009
Hello. Are you alright? Yeah, I’m alright. Good. How are you? Bit tired, you? Bit tired yeah. Not long now though is it? No not long now. Looking forward to going back? Yes and no, you? Same really. Yeah. You got some good reviews though. Yes, that was nice and you did. Yes, that was nice. Going out tonight? No, don’t think so, probably watch a DVD or something. Flight of the Living Dead? Probably. How many times you seen that then? 3 or 4. You must like it. …no. Not really but its the only one I got you see. Oh. Fancy seeing a show? Not really, bit tired. Yeah I’m a bit tired. yeah. yeah. Bye then. Bye.
That was an example of the kind of conversations that are currently rife in the Edinburgh Performer community. And we are a community, Snake! relentless fatigue and sorrow. Cheese nightmares and sore backs. Still its been a mountain of fun. Read more
Height
August 17, 2009
Hello. After a good 12 hours in the land of Nod, hanging out with various hefallumps and reenossery, I feel I am almost ready to face the world at last. There are still two weeks to go and this could be considered a daunting prospect to someone as sorely cream crackered as myself but no, on I struggle. I’d like to say that performing every day here is like being in a war zone but its not really is it? You don’t get shot at or bombed, occasionly someone might not laugh when they are supposed to but that’s at best only a mild wound.
Myself and the monsters were very much amused by a review of the show in the National Student which was generally very pleasant and nice. The baffling bit was where the reviewer pointed out that might transformations from character to character was slightly scuppered by my height. ???!!!?? I think next year we’ll need to bring out some stilts and try the old shoes on the knees routine. Ho hum….Not much to say now. Tomorrow will be laden with lucious prose I promise.
ta ta.
Day something: Bawdy. Spoon. Darius.
August 13, 2009
Howdy. A great gig last night with Fergus for Amnesty International, doing some classic Theatre Group. 
Like climbing into bed with an old lover, first we were tentative and gentle, then more daring – spicing things up and finally going at it no holds barred. Right in front of the audience, who drooled and slavered like farm animals. A nice gig and I am proud to be in the same bunch of placard-holding celebrities as Anthony Head and Darius.
Saw Nick Mohammed’s show. Wonderful stuff. He really is the new Mr Spoon and I followed him right to his moon and back. Everyone see it. It’s phenomenal.
I realise I haven’t actually said much about my show, Colin Hoult’s Carnival of Monsters, on this blog. Modest to the last. I am really very proud of it and you should all come. Rather than spoil it for you, as it’s full of surprises, I will simply give you some quick samples:
- ‘I chose the correct bush’
- ‘Bill! I need that bowl for my bottom’
- ‘If pushed, I would describe our sex life as regular and thorough’
Day 5, Burns. Back. Bacon.
August 9, 2009
I hate my back. It has turned on me, viciously, the ungrateful swine. At some point either climbing over the audience, riding on a tricycle or throwing myself to the floor, I have damaged it. It is a most uncomfortable feeling. Especially when you try to do something simple like walk and you literally can’t remember how this was ever acheived. Still the show must go on as Freddie Mercury sang “Inside my back is breaking, my make up may be fading…” etc. Read more
Day 1, Fish. Prudence. Nick.
August 5, 2009
I am ending a very long day with a disappointingly piss poor fish supper. This is the only part of my first day at the festival I haven’t enjoyed. I began with a delicious egg and mackerel breakfast. “Crikey”, I thought, “could this get any better”? But get better it did. Read more
EIF: 14 August-6 September
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