Why I'm ditching The Voice UKDate: 6 May 2012
As regular readers know, I love a good talent show - I have blogged about Over the Rainbow, How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? and I have been asked to do the same for the new Jesus Christ Superstar show. I always kick myself when I end up devoting months of my life to X Factor - but I still do it and for the first few weeks of the Voice UK - I was hooked. The concept alone had me applauding and then there is the reason I am writing about in the first place - the inclusion of West End stars such as Twinnie Lee Moore and Kerry Ellis. But then something happened.........
Holly Willoughby and Reggie Yates have been asked to adopt a very 'serious' tone throughout. As a result, the show lacks humour. But the bottom line is Holly's 'concerned face' and her constant use of the word "right" at the end of a sentence is becoming really irritating. "Will, you really have got your work cut out this week, riiigggghhht?" Like the rest of the show, it's all a desperate attempt to be a young, fresh show. But the show is watched by more than just 13 year old Cher Lloyd fans. As for Reggie's backroom reporting all revolving around tweets - don't get me started. It's just not exciting and the direction is awful, as contestants almost fall into the room as he speaks. You realise how good Dermot O'Leary is, when you see these two trying to be 'dope.' Dopey, more like.
Getting judges to listen is a great concept as then the image is forgotten. But once they have turned round and they begin working with 'the artist' (are they? Already?) they are clearly going to get rid of the one who will not look so great in a you tube clip. Not only that - some of the contestants are plain awful - The unmagic numbers couple - for starters - if you were in a pub - great. But on live TV, how did they get through? I know, the voices. But the voices are dated and do not fit in with the concept that this show is unearthing exciting artists. What then happens is the judges and public get rid of people they don't like the look of! So then, what are you left with? The X Factor with none of the mediation, manipulation, loud voiceovers, but a few easy pickings for the audience to laugh at. So remove all of the navel gazing and it's just the same old show. Only, it irritatiingly claims it's not.
"The licks were good", "You need to flip it", "That was dope." It is hurting my ears typing some of this as I can hear it all again. It's one judge, really but the others are guilty of trying to be like him, as they believe he is the USP. will.i.am says nothing within his feedback to contestants, so they have nowhere to go. He'll say: "Like you were hot, then it went cold and then like, it was blazing and I got burnt." What? At home you are longing for a "That was not good. You need to work on...." Instead you get a middle class version of 'street' and it's embarrassing. As for the rest of the judges - everything seems to be so "fresh, vibrant and you made it your own" - I'm surprised anyone goes home. As Lady Gaga says "Show me your teeth."
The Songs and clothes
Every week the judges tell you how proud they to be in the Voice UK. They mention that it's a different type of show. Then the song choices come out - "Running up the Hill" for the quirky one, "Dream a Little Dream" for the heart throb - terrible dated talent show songs designed to bring out the inner stereotype. Kate Bush sits happily knowing only she can sing that song as it's murdered. Then another guy comes on singing "Sweet Disposition" in the wrong key dressed like he's walking the dog! Has anyone else seen how they style these guys? Last week - one girl had the most unflattering dress on which made her look far bigger than she really is and this week was even worse.
Ultimately The Voice UK is so pleased with itself and the ratings, that the show has no heart or soul and it's become like the equivalent of a Christopher Nolan film Vs The Avengers. One takes itself very seriously and the other one knows what it is and runs with it. This show is light entertainment but thinks it's Jules Et Jim. For those reasons, I'm turning into a Dragon in the Den and "I'm Out!"
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